Life's big moments

As I age, each year seems to bring different "big" moments to mind, which leads me down the path of, what exactly is a BIG moment, and why is it considered big?

As I ran through the images in my mind of my biggest moments in life, it became pretty apprent that what was considered a big moment as a teen, or a young adult, is very different than what denotes a big moment as a parent or an adult. I find that my big moments of the seventies eighties were my first kiss, my parents' divorce, getting my driver's license, earning my own money, living on my own, etc... Pretty average growing-up moments, right?

Very quickly after my first son was born, my big moments were defined by his big moments. His first words, first tooth, first steps, etc. It was the same with each child, except, of course, that as you have more children, the littler things don't seem to make the cut anymore - been there, done that - we're looking for bigger things - achievements that make them stand out from the rest (now you see why the youngest ones always yell to be heard? Duh...).  My personal big moments were scattered in there somewhere, and included business successes, recognition in the public's eye when fighting for my community - basically work 'stuff'.

As my children grow up - my oldest now 20, youngest 7 - my moments are defined by their achievements as young adults and budding boys, their ability to problem solve and become mature, healthy, respectful adults - all the things that make a parent proud. However, there is one difference. As my children grow up and more of my time is really my own, and not just spent caring for the kids, my moments are slowly becoming my own again. What is funny, though, is that my moments are no longer defined by large achievements, but rather by what I can give back, how I have acted, have I been the kindest that I could have been and am I setting the best example for others? Am I paying it forward enough? Do I have enough time with my mom, who I adore? What can I do to make someone else smile?

My big moments, at this forty-something juncture in my life, is defined by the culmination of the achievements and lessons of life. Perhaps my biggest moment happens daily for me. When I smile at the kids instead of yelling as they drag mud across the freshly cleaned carpet - when we can laugh at the dog's inability to listen rather than scolding it. When I can tell my son to enjoy the "beauty" of the storm, rather than gaining fear from it. These are the things that matter to me now.

What defines your life's big moments?