July 22, 1988

Twenty years ago.  I remember it as though it were yesterday.  It was a terribly hot, sunny summer's day.  Very similiar to today.  I was feeling down in the dumps, a bit anxious.  You see, I was nine months pregnant to the day.  Because our other two children had been born early, I just knew this one would be too.  Wrong.  But no.  Here it was, the due date and no baby.  I even had to make another appointment to see my doctor the following week.  Can you understand the depression?   Long story short.  Our beautiful daughter was born later that evening after a short 2.5 hour labor.  A piece of cake! 

I can't believe 20 years have passed.  Honestly, where did the time go?  It seems as tho I was just holding her in my arms, truly amazed at her little hands and feet, wondering what she was going to look like, what she was going to be doing, would she be happy twenty years from now.  I can tell you she has grown into a wonderfully caring, loving and passionate (esp. about the state of the world and environment) young woman who has places to go. She has so life to live and she will live it her way!!! 

For the first time in her 20 years, she'll not be at home celebrating.  She lives and works near school.  After work, I'm sure she'll be celebrating with her friends.  She'll have a great time. That's what she's supposed to do.  Have fun, celebrate, be happy. 

So why am I so sad?  Because I can't hold her in my arms, give her a huge hug (which she still loves to give. those who have experienced her hugs will know how much love is in them), kiss and say "I love you and happy birthday, sweet child of mine", just as I did that night twenty years ago.I've called her once already, will most likely talk to her again.  But, I wonder if she realizes what this day really means to me?