Hormones...Stress...Viagra...What the hell?

Hello all your forty somethings out there! Can anyone hear me? Are any of you tossing and turning at night, staring at the clock, wondering when in the hell you might fall asleep and why in the hell you can't? I'm right there with you, ladies, and not enjoying any part of it!

As my dear husband sleeps soundly  next to me, even when I nudge him so I can selfishly complain about being awake, and when that doesn't work, I elbow him by accident, yeah, right. His eyelids flutter and there's hope in my heart that perhaps we can chat or make good use of these midnight hours. But alas, all hope is shattered when I realize he's simply in deep REM sleep. Great!

Sometimes I get up and meander around the house, checking on the dogs and cats, the kids, making sure the doors are locked. Other times I lay in bed repeating a mantra of Sleep. just close your eyes. Sleep....It never works. Inevitably I'm left the next morning to snap at the children, sound like a groggy froggy, and relish the thought of a nap.

Napping is another issue. Daytime is for getting things done! Chores and work await us each morning. And yet, a nap would be the smart thing to do so that I don't strangle my family when they return home. I have tried to give in to the nap calling. But it never fails - a few minutes of lying in bed and my mind runs like a freight train to all of the things I should be doing and am not.

What is this all about? Some women tell me its hormones. My question is, What the hell? Why do men get all the good hormones and we get the crappy ones that first send you into cramping hell as a young girl, and follow you monthly throughout your life until you are so sick of them you could puke. In your forties you get adult acne, again, lovely hormones! No sleep and bloating? Men get to be horny like little teens in heat for half of their lives (or perhaps their whole lives) and never seem to have hormonal issues - until the blessed day that they become impotent. But leave it to the men - they've got Viagra! And what do we have? Sleepless nights, night sweats, and mood swings.

Life is so unfair...