Archived Articles
This is a collection of articles that have been published on The Women's Nest! We hope that you enjoy them!
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Enjoy!
Afraid of The Economy?
It seems like all Americans are watching the TV and waiting for the latest bad news about the economy. We can’t help it. It’s on every day! Unemployment rates are high and the stock market is unstable. We are feeling the pinch at the grocery store and most certainly at the pump. Even the president seemed surprised when he was told gas might reach $4 per gallon.
Although our government is working on relief, you can’t help but wonder if it will truly help. The more fear we have, the tighter we hold onto our money and the worse it gets. We can clip coupons and carpool to trim the fat when possible. However, we have to drive and we need to eat.
What does your household do to save when funds are limited? Do you believe the governments relief effort will help? Come talk about the economy and other issues weighing on your mind in the Women’s’ Nest Women’s Forum Financial area.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Becoming an Artist!
Becoming an Artist
When’s the last time you picked up a crayon? Remember when you were a child and you got a new box? All the sharp colors lined up just waiting for you to create. Remember thinking that you were such a good “colorer” you were going to be an artist? Crayons have not lost their fun!
Rekindle that affair with crayons. If you’re a mom you certainly already have the necessary tools. If you’re not, go to the store and pick out a fresh box of crayons and a new coloring book. I promise that the thrill will still be there. There’s something very relaxing about coloring. It affords you the “quiet time” that so many of us need to take once in a while.
Come share your artistic talents and talk about how you spend your quiet time in the Women’s Forum.
Article Written by Elizabeth Renter
Body Confidence and Women
Do you catch yourself checking the mirror far too often? Or are you afraid to look into it when you walk by? Do you quickly wrap up in your towel when exiting the shower- more to hide from yourself than anyone else? Don’t feel like you’re alone. Most women have experienced or are currently experiencing problems with their body confidence.
We are bombarded with images telling us what we should look like and then wonder why we can’t love ourselves the way we are. As women we need to recognize where our true beauty comes from. Our beauty comes from deep within and permeates our skin. If we recognize the beauty within ourselves, it is visible to everyone who sees us.
We are the nurturers of our human race. We are the mothers and protectors. We are beautiful! Come celebrate the beauty of being a woman in the Women’s Forum.
Buying Organic
We are all trying to do our part for the environment. In the case of buying organic foods, we are doing a service to the environment as well as doing our bodies a favor. It doesn’t take a mathematician, however, to realize that when you buy organic, you probably pay more. Depending how far you are from the organic grower, what season it is and where you are shopping, you can pay more than twice as much for organic goods.
So, how can you continue to buy organic without breaking the bank? Well, there are several ways to watch your spending when it comes to organic. First, don’t just shop at the supermarket. Check out local farmers markets. They offer fresh, organic products with fun community flair. Check out health food stores. They are more likely to have sales on organic items. Also, buy in season. When the growing season is booming, prices drop. That is the time to stock up. Many fruits and vegetables can be easily frozen or preserved.
Do you buy organic? Are you interested in learning about organic foods from women who do? Come chat about this and other issues relating to the environment and women’s health at the Women’s Nest Women’s Forum.
Article Written by Elizabeth Renter
Celebrity Offspring
J.Lo just had twins!
Celebrity parenting styles range from the super private to in your face and everywhere you look. How do you think all this attention will affect these children? If you were in the limelight would you keep your children behind locked doors or out for everyone to see? Come talk about the newest celebrity babies and gossip in the Women’s Forum.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Day Trippin'
If you’re like the majority of Americans, you are feeling the pinch in your wallet, purse, or clutch. However, even though we can’t spend extravagantly we still need to treat ourselves to a break. Maybe you can’t afford a cruise or can’t manage to take the kids to
Sometimes it doesn’t take a week’s vacation to relax. Of course we all wish we could take that much time off, but the majority of us will only take major vacations a few times in our lives. The rest of us can take a “time out” and enjoy a 24 hour break.
Do you have a place you go for day trips? Have any suggestions for your fellow moms or women on where to get a little “r&r”? Come chat about your latest excursion with the ladies in the Women’s Forum.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Decorating With Nature
With home improvement and decorating all the rage these days, it’s not hard to find new and different materials to use in your home. No, I don’t mean laying sod in your living room, that’s taking “green” a little too far! What I mean is there are many decorating options on the market these days that are made exclusively from natural products.
Textiles are being made with recycled material or derived from natural plant sources. You can buy wood for your cabinetry and flooring that is produced through less harmful means and isn’t finished with harmful chemicals. Paint even comes in eco-friendly options.
Have you thought of ways to get your home “green”? Come share your ideas in the Women’s Forum, where there are women discussing environmental issues right now.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Digestion Cleanse!
Do you wake up feeling sluggish and simply not looking forward to the morning? Sip room-temperature water with some fresh lemon juice first thing in the morning! This tasty concoction stimulates digestion and helps flush toxins from your body! Aaahh..
Rejuvenate with us - You'll gain more than just helpful health tips - We're a community of wonderful women - Share stories, gain support, advice, and friendship! Joining is free and easy - just Click Here! and then click the New Account tab!
Fashion for Real Women
What happens when you are too young for orthopedic shoes but too old for Uggs? You have now entered the dilemma of millions of real women- women who try to find a balance between frumpy fashion and too trendy. How can we be trendy but not look like we are trying to find a date to the prom?
- Don’t copy what you see on TV- Television is made to appeal to our senses. What looks good on your favorite prime-time soap won’t necessarily fly at your office.
- Phone a friend- Don’t be afraid to ask a girlfriend where she shops or invite her to go along with you next time you plan on dropping some money on high fashion.
- Look at what other women are wearing. We all see a woman at some time or another that we think looks cute. Next time, pay attention to why you like how she looks. More than likely she is able to pull together an outfit that is trendy while being age appropriate.
- Don’t give up! After switching outfits twice, don’t settle for sweatpants. Dressing nice makes us feel better and feeling happy is what it’s all about!
Writen by Elizabeth Renter
Fierce Female Friendships
Have you ever had a friend who was your rock? A friend who knew when something was wrong and called right when you needed her? Sometimes, as we get older, we forget the value of good girlfriends. We forget all of those times we sat on the phone with a best friend, snot running down our face; bawling about the latest heartbreak. We forget about laughing until we cry. We forget about those bonds. We get all wrapped up in being a “grownup” and forget that good friendships are for grownups too!
How many friendships have you lost over the past decade? Usually there is no falling out, just a fading out. The phone calls get fewer and fewer. You have a hard time catching each other at simultaneous lulls in the day, and before you know it, it’s been 6 months! Reconnect. Reconnect with old friends or make some new ones. Don’t underestimate the power of a fierce friendship.
Come make new friends, share your experiences, and discuss women’s issues at the Women’s Nest Women’s Forum.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Gardening For Yourself, Your Family, Your Environment
Gardening For Yourself, Your Family, Your Environment
Remember when just about every family had a garden? Now it’s considered pretty rare. In this day and age when fast food is a regular week night meal rather than a rare treat, we are accustomed to convenience. It requires some work, but the benefits are plenty.
Gardening is therapy. It feels good to get your hands in some dirt. Gardening helps the environment and allows you to eat organic foods without the high cost. Gardening can also be an opportunity for building relationships with your family members. Children get a great sense of accomplishment by growing food from seeds. It also allows them to appreciate things that are usually taken for granted.
These days there’s no excuse to not garden. It is relatively easy and you can get help from the sales person at the nursery or from the library. Gardens don’t have to take up a quarter acre; you can garden in a corner of your yard or in pots on your porch.
Do you have a green thumb? Maybe you have a fruitful garden already and can share your skills with women who are scared to get a little dirt under their nails. Come talk about it in the Women’s Nest Women’s Forum.
Article Written by Elizabeth Renter
Going to One Income
Many people have lost their jobs with the economy being so poor these days. As a result, many families are forced to struggle with only one income. Numerous families have lost their homes, jobs, and much more. In response many mothers are searching for alternative solutions. There are many opportunities available to help these families.
Between the gas prices and child care many moms are seeking to earn extra income from the comfort of their homes. Day care can cost a fortune alone and the gas prices are inclining on a daily bases. Therefore many women are looking for alternatives to help provide for their families.
The internet holds many opportunities for earning extra income from home. There is several forums that guide you and direct you to jobs that are available, free samples and many printable coupons. These sources can help the American families in several ways.
Most forums require you to register in order to get access to their boards. You can apply for a job to make extra money from home. Many of these forums were designed with stay at home mothers in mind, giving them the chance to make extra money to help provide for their families.
For women who worked in professional fields and either lost their jobs or decided that working from home would be the best option, there are many choices available to you also. Many forums list jobs requiring a degree. Some just ask for experience. You just have to submit an application. Most companies will contact you within 48 hours of submitting an application.
To help families in other areas as well as work, the internet provides several places that you can print out coupons and receive samples at the request from the buyer. Do a search to some the most popular food suppliers and most of them have valuable offerings.
Trying to supplement income does not have to be as difficult as some may think. Doing searches on the internet and looking in your local newspaper can be great resources for work at home moms trying to earn extra income from home. However, you must be careful not to fall into a, \" SCAM \" . Some of the companies ask you to pay a fee to recieve information from them. Do not fall for this never ever pay for work. Some on the other hand ask for a small fee for trainng purposes, all you have to do is read about their company and that pretty much will tell you what they are all about.
To sum it all up, there is alternatives to become a one income family. Doing searches on the internet can be most informative. Many parents, (not only moms) have found that working from home can save money in many ways.
Written by Jessica Franks
How do you honor Mother Earth?
Mother Earth
Native American spirituality refers to our planet as “Mother Earth”. What does this mean exactly? Well, take a look around you. Our earth gives birth to plants and animals on a daily basis. Our planet sustains our lives by providing food sources and air to breathe. She protects us with the ozone layer and gives us resources to build homes. She nourishes us with the water that flows from her and showers us with rain and sunshine.
When you think of all of the things that Mother Earth does for us, it is a little harder to disrespect her. Would you throw garbage in your mother’s face? Would you waste her precious resources with no regard to your descendants who will have to make use of it as well? Would you look at all your mother has done for you and let her slowly fade away?
What do you do to show your “Mother” you appreciate her? Come talk with other concerned women in the Women’s Nest Women’s Forum, where motherhood and our planet get the respect they so rightfully deserve!
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
In a Rut? Try a Self-makeover!
When was the last time you changed something about your appearance? Sometimes we get so used to the routine and the rhythm of life, we are in a rut and don’t even recognize it. Taking time for yourself can put you in a better place mentally and emotionally.
Color your hair and get a cut. Get your nails done and buy a new outfit. Invite a girlfriend and make a day out of it. Don’t let a lack of spending money stop you either. You can paint your nails yourself and reconfigure your wardrobe. Switch your hairstyle by losing that tired ponytail. A makeover can give you that extra pep you need when the routine is bringing you down.
What do you do when you’re in a style rut? Women like you are talking about style and other fun issues in the Women’s Forum right now. Come join us and share your makeover and style tips.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Let the Kids Play!
As a mom it is really easy to say no. Raising kids, sometimes we find ourselves saying no and then thinking “I probably could’ve said yes to that one, but it’s too late now…I don’t wanna seem weak!” In parenting, we get so accustomed to telling the kids “no” it becomes a knee jerk reaction. Although I can think of a few parents who have the opposite problem and can’t spell discipline, I think the majority of us are quite good with the NO word. So good in fact that perhaps we should stop to think before we let it fly out of our mouths.
Kids thrive on playing. They use their imagination more in one day than we probably do in a week. So what if they make a mess when we let them pretend cook in the kitchen! Oh well, they’ll get wet if we let them play in the rain. Heaven forbid they get paint up to their elbows when it is only supposed to be “finger” paint!
These things are what memories are made of. Think back and I bet you can remember making messes and having a blast. I would never suggest you let your kid take life risking chances, but finger paint is pretty safe. Remember just because you relax on the “no” doesn’t mean you have to forget the: “You have to clean it up” or the ever popular “Because I told you so!”.
Come talk about your adventures in parenting with other moms in the Women’s Nest Women’s Forum.
Llife & Leisure: Family Vacations!
Some of us remember long summer road trips and endless happy memories with our families on vacation. Others remember spending vacations at Grandma’s and wondering when we would be able to go on a “real” vacation. Today there are many affordable options so just about everyone can afford some type of family vacation.
With the world at our fingertips, the internet has become our own personal travel agent as you can peruse deals from all over the country and all over the world. Going to the beach in early October will save you hundreds over going in the middle of summer. If you’re willing to stay a little further out, hotel rates can be more manageable. Flexibility will save you money when it comes to vacations.
What are your dream vacations? How have you been able to go where you want, when you want? Come share your stories and suggestions in the Women’s Forum.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Meditation - Don't be Frightened of it!
Don’t Be Afraid of a Little Meditation
We are in a time where people meditate. College students, stay at home moms, busy professionals, and the elderly; everyone is meditating. However, there are a few of us that get a little apprehensive when someone suggests meditation. We still picture meditation as some sort of uncomfortable sitting position involving some chanting in a long forgotten language. True, some people do meditate this way. But you are wrong if you think that is all meditation is.
While some people meditate to reach a higher level of spirituality, many of us meditate to reflect and to allow our minds to slow down. Meditating can be done on the couch, in the bathtub, or sitting on the floor. Meditation can involve chanting, prayer, or simply a quiet mind. There isn’t a right or wrong way of meditating.
The benefits of meditation reach from the spiritual and mental to actually improving your health and physical well being. Join us for meditation on Sunday nights at 9pm EST or come talk about your meditation practices in the Women’s Forum.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Meet Mr. Stingy, a.k.a The Crazy-Making Husband
Copyright 2008 Muffy Gibson
THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND
Stingy-ness is next to Godliness -- according to The Crazy-Making Husband. Why give anything to your wife, when you don't have to?
The Encarta World Dictionary defines stingy as "not generous in giving or spending money" and "ungenerously small or inadequate". A veritable Ebenezer Scrooge before his visitations, with The Crazy-Making Husband, 'stingy' goes far beyond the classic definitions of giving and spending money.
For starters, many a Crazy-Making Husband is stingy in earning it! It's one of his *perfect* crazy-making strategies. If he doesn't 'have' it, he cannot be expected to 'give' it. On the other hand, those crazy-makers who do earn good money deeply resent sharing it with their wives and children. Then, there's the man in the middle: he who earns decent money, but refuses to contribute his fair share. In all cases, The Crazy-Making Husband evokes tremendous self-pity by sloshing about in his Rule #3: REALIZE THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH MONEY YOU MAKE, IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH TO SATISFY YOUR WIFE.
The Crazy-Making Husband's stinginess also manifests in every important relational dynamic: attention, affection, emotional support, and time, to name just a few. Withdrawal is his signature stinginess! What crazed wife has not known the devastation of a husband who is 'there but not there'?
How painfully we wives feel his miserly ways! Yet, when we protest, we're told we 'imagine' his stinginess. Or we're too demanding. Both are untrue. The real truth is: The Crazy-Making Husband simply does not -- or cannot -- generously give.
In marriage, the absence of appropriate behavior is just as crazy-making as inappropriate behavior. Every woman has fundamental needs designed -- and deserving -- to be met by her significant other. It's that simple.
The urge to 'measure' what we receive in any relationship evokes a prickly assortment of uncomfortable thoughts. It makes us wonder if we are being cheated. If we've been taken for a fool. Or, if we are a fool. Drowning in the pool of emotional emptiness that is our marriage to a crazy-maker, we can't but wonder.
The closeness of language between 'miser' and 'misery' is no coincidence. Ask any crazed wife. Life with a steady dose of 'lack of' activates in us a profound sense of deprivation. Which, of course, activates depression. Eventually, it threatens our very sense of security.
Think: which people wind up most admired and loved? In the course of human history, as in the course of our personal lives, are they not people who exhibit generosity of spirit?
Our fundamental need for generosity, and the satisfaction of this need, is showcased in our earliest primary relationships: with our parents. We who were blessed with generous, responsive parents forever bask in that glow. We who suffered neglect feel forever deprived, disappointed and hurt.
Next time you feel that what you get from your husband is far less than what you give, take your queasy discomfort and place it aside. Instead of admonishing yourself, or flaring up with righteous anger, quietly sit down with a pencil and paper. On the left side, list what you give to your marriage -- emotionally, domestically, and financially. On the right side, list what your husband gives. Add to and correct this list regularly for a week or so, until you feel it is fair and accurate.
Then, put on your best thinking-cap. In your marriage, what are the most painful deficits in your husband's behavior? Do you honestly feel, with proper guidance, he has the potential to correct them?
If yes, get busy. Get creative. If no, get courageous. Remember, no one liked Scrooge before dawn of Christmas Day.
Purchase Martha/Muffy's book here - Available New or Used!
Visit Martha's website: http://www.crazedwives.com
Mood Music
Music has a way of taking us to levels of happiness and relaxation that TV just can’t match. Have you ever taken a hot bubble bath with some jazz or classical music playing softly in the background? Your bathroom is transformed into a spa. What about cleaning the house on Saturday with some 80s music blaring through the halls. Maybe rock and roll gets you moving more than anything else. Eating dinner takes on a romantic air when you have classic R&B crooners serenading you. Road trips are much more bearable with good radio. And when you don’t have a say, Radio Disney can distract the kids for at least an hour. If you’ve got a thing for Alicia Keys or Mary J. Blige you could probably dish R&B with the best of them. However, if your preferences are Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift, maybe you can teach us a thing or two about country hits.
What kinds of music put you in a mood? Come share your taste in music and let us know what you think about your favorite artist’s latest album in the Women’s Forum.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
NEW ARTICLE! Who has time to exercise?
Every woman has used lack of time as an excuse to not exercise. It is probably the most-used excuse in the book. We all know that exercise is good for us. We imagine “they” are right when they tell us that it makes you feel good, reduces stress, aides weight loss, improves circulation, extends our lives, and all of that other good stuff. But so many of us resist it with everything we’ve got and we do our best to fill our days to capacity so we just don’t have time for exercise.
You have to make time for exercise. Shut off the TV an hour early. Don’t worry about washing up the breakfast dishes in the morning. Use your lunch break to get a walk in. We all have moments in our day when we consciously choose something else over exercise. Pay attention to your choices and you will find that you can make time for your health. Consider it a selfish act. Spoil yourself with some “me time”. You will come to enjoy exercise if you give your body the chance it deserves.
How do you find time to exercise? Do you need help scheduling some quality “me time”? Come chat with other women about their health concerns in the Women’s Nest Women’s Forum.
Article Written by Elizabeth Renter
New Article! The Gossip Disease
The Gossip Disease
We’re women. We gossip. When we’re talking about celebrities it’s one thing. When we are talking about each other, it’s a totally different ball game. Too often our workplace, social circle, or even our church becomes a place where gossip divides us. Gossip is a disease. If you’ve ever tried to stop, you would agree with me. For some reason, we allow rumors and secrets come between friendships and family relationships. If you are a victim of gossip you know how it feels to get carried away with a friend. You will be talking about “what you heard” and the conversation gets juicier and juicier before you are both bad mouthing people you either care about or have no business talking about. It can be hard to turn away a gossip queen, especially if you are guilty of it yourself!
Next time you are lured into a gossiping conversation, think about what would happen and how you would feel if the subject of your gossip was standing behind you listening. Better yet, think of a time when you found out people were spreading rumors about you. Don’t let gossip come between us ladies!
Come talk about real issues and healthy friendships in the Women’s Forum…Leave the toxic gossip at the door!
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
New Article: Women's Friendship Tips
How to Be a Good Friend
You wouldn’t think an article with this title would be necessary for grown women. But, ask any grown woman and chances are she knows someone who would benefit on a whole friendship class!
Don’t consistently cancel plans– We all have a friend like this and we have all slowly had to get rid of friends like this. If something comes up that’s fine. But don’t make plans if you have no plans on sticking with them.
Listen–Yes, the men in our lives would certainly benefit from this one too, but women are guilty of tuning out as well! Don’t just be in the friendship because of what it does for you; lend your ear as well.
Be understanding – Many of us are friends with women who have different family or home situations. Some of us have a hard time making time while others have all the free time in the world. Don’t hold it against your friend that she has other priorities in her life.
Stick with it –As with most relationships, sometimes it would be easier to just give up. Those friendships that go the deepest, however, are those that go the distance!
We all have our own trials and tests in our friendships. Some of us have a handful of friends we couldn’t do without while others have one best friend who is like a sister. Regardless of how many you have, you can always have more. Come meet some more friends and grow your circle of sisterhood in the Women’s Forum!
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Oscar Who?
Once a year the red carpet rolls out and we all tune in. Most of us are more interested in the red carpet than the actual award show. What will so-and-so be wearing? Who will enter the all feared worst-dressed list and be doomed to horrible ridicule by Joan Rivers and her just-as-odd daughter? The Oscars are an American phenomenon we can’t escape. Many of us wish they would “just get to the good awards already!” Do we really care about the Best Editor award? Hmm..nope, probably not. But we are interested in who is announcing it and what they’re wearing.
Do you have a pick for the Best Film or Best Actor? Do you tune in for the whole show, or just for the good stuff? Come talk about your favorite movies and stars in the Women’s Nest Women’s Forum Celebrity Chat / Entertainment category.
Recipe for a Better, Greener Society, by Adam Cohen
Recipe for a Better, Greener Society, by Adam Cohen
Written for the Roanoke Times/ Roanoke.com
Cohen has lived in the region since 1984, is a sculptor, LEED accredited professional and is co-owner of Structures Design Build.
I was shaken out of a 15-year sleep when my 14-year-old asked how long people had been talking about global climate change. I answered that the '70s was the start of the public debate. He then asked a real eye-opener, "You mean people have been talking for 40 years without making any real changes?"
At this point I realized that I had let my children and all children down 15 years ago when I stopped pushing the agenda that I believe in. Like so many of my generation, I was raised to think I could make a difference in this world. Through my mid-30s I worked for change. What happened to me was typical of those my age: The personal needs of family and the reality of providing a living forced me to lay my ideals to the side while I worked in a system that, while flawed, allowed me to make a living.
My son's innocent question woke me up. I am going to make a radical proposal for this region. I propose a change to the way we approach living in this community.
I've watched people argue about what is best for our region. People advocate preserving our natural environment; attracting and retaining younger citizens; attracting investment, new industry and tourism. To this I would add: Deal with the inequities and misperceptions that our forebears created within our social structure.
Some of the locally hatched schemes to achieve this have included an art museum, an amphitheater, a trolley, a restaurant on Mill Mountain and rebuilding of the market area. While all of these will have some impact, none will truly set a new standard by which our region could be put on the leading edge of social and environmental sustainability.
Precisely because we have a relatively small population, we have the opportunity to create a forward-acting region that will create a dynamic society. There is a town, Malmo, Sweden, that has set an example of what forward-thinking and dedicated leadership can create, and I encourage readers to learn about their experiment.
We need visionary political change and grass-roots support for sustainable technologies to change the way we think about our society as well as our environment.
We must not take the have and have-not positions of the past, but must take the sympathetic position that we are only as strong as our weakest link. We must advocate for both political and social change of ideals.
Some of the specific ideas we can implement are:
- Establish a hydrogen refining facility powered by solar power. Make a commitment to convert a percentage of the city fleet to fuel cell vehicles as they age. Provide free hydrogen fill up to citizens who own fuel cell vehicles.
- Teach youth green-collar job skills by training them in solar photovoltaic power and solar thermal system installation. Do this by adding solar systems to the roofs of city buildings and tie the power back to the electric grid.
- Create significant financial incentives for sustainable green technology companies to locate in our region. Reach out to these firms and tie the incentives to job creation and clean production.
- Eliminate the personal property tax on low-emission and zero-emission vehicles.
- Reduce property taxes on LEED certified projects with the reduction tied to the LEED level attained.
- Establish financial incentives for rainwater and gray water recycling systems to reduce the impact on water demand in our area.
- Make a commitment to a comprehensive recycling program for all citizens and industry.
- Establish electric vehicles as part of our municipal fleet and create solar charging stations for fleet vehicles.
- Change our municipal bus fleet to natural gas or propane power.
- Use unutilized open spaces for free garden spaces for citizens within walking or biking distance.
- Offer incentives to municipal employees for carpooling, bike riding or use of low-emission and zero-emission vehicles, and encourage private industry to do the same.
- Preface our political and development decisions on whether the impact will be a positive or negative one on the next generation.
By following some or all of these concepts we can create a healthy, progressive area that will both attract new people as well as enhance the lives of those already here.
Relationships: There's No "Us" In Sight With The Crazy-Making Husband!
Copyright 2008 Muffy Gibson
THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND
TITLE: There's No 'Us' In Sight, With The Crazy-Making Husband
Look high. Look low. But don't be surprised. If you're married to a Crazy-Maker, in your marriage there's no 'Us' in sight!
For many wives, it's the most maddening aspect of life with The Crazy-Making Husband. Why no 'Us' in The Crazy-Maker's lexicon? He is simply unable -- and unwilling -- to view your marital relationship as anything but a power struggle. In his head, marriage = him v. you. In every situation, he either wins, or he loses. Period.
And fellow crazed wife, beware: The Crazy-Making Husband does not tolerate losses.
Nor does he ever forget them!
The reasons are many, and the pathways various, yet invariably, The Crazy-Making Husband's quest for marital power stems from the fact that, in your marital relationship, he feels you wield the power. So, winning in everyday interactions with you is vitally important
Pause a moment, inspect his psyche. You'll see that it's downright dangerous for The Crazy-Making Husband to employ any frame but 'I v. You'. Shifting to 'Us' would not only intensify his fear of powerlessness, it would rock his foundation -- for he's built his life so that the Universe revolves around him alone.
There's more. A shift in his primary allegiance from his Royal Self to 'the greater good of you both' means adding to your wellbeing. Which isn't going to happen. In your marriage, in his head, his competitive posture is heavily laced with envy. Envy, you wonder? Yes. He may not show he notices things, but he does. He notices your hopes. Your vision. Your interests, and engagements. Your close friendships. Your achievements.
He especially notices when you're happy. Enthused. Excited.
Trapped in the deadness of his impoverished inner life, he just can't stand to see you happy. Your happiness is a 'win' for you. Meaning: a loss for him.
How well The Crazy-Making Husband keeps score! How vigorously he attends to the wounds of his 'losses', faithfully fanning his anger at them, to keep them fresh and hurting.
Because to him, 'giving in' means 'giving up' -- and losing -- everyday life with your Crazy-Making Husband is an endless power struggle. One of the first clues to my own husband's crazy-making was the awareness that every single day and night, in every interaction, I felt exhausted, like I'd been body-wrestling. Why, I'd wonder. "Why?" I'd ask him. "Why, in every conversation, do I feel like I'm wrestling with a gorilla?!" Crazy-Maker that he is, invariably, he'd reply: "You're crazy." Grrrrrrrr!
Next time you present a decision that needs to be made, or a plan you have for the two of you, or even something simple like a change in your mealtime schedule, assess your husband's reaction. After he gives his 'I' response, ask him why he decided the way he did.
And please, don't waste your precious energy looking for 'Us' in his answer!
Purchase Martha/Muffy's book here - Available New or Used!
Supporting The Troops
Supporting the Troops
War is a controversial subject. With our current president getting record low approval ratings,
Do you know someone fighting overseas? Or are you a member of our Nation’s Armed Forces? Come share your stories in the Women’s Forum where support is plentiful.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
The Crazy Making Husband! Excuses, Excuses!
Copyright 2008 Muffy Gibson
THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND:
His Rules And Rationalizations, Refreshingly Refuted by Reality
Excuses, Excuses
RULE #2 of The Crazy-Making Husband: ALWAYS HAVE HANDY AN IMPRESSIVE ARRAY OF EXCUSES.
Quick definition, 'Crazy-Making': thinking, feeling and behavior designed to drive you mad.
And what better way to drive you nuts, than barrage you with excuses?
Your husband's barrage of excuses has the same objective as brainwashing: to 'break' you. Bent on convincing you that your reaction to his bad behavior is invalid and unfair, vigorously and relentlessly he hurls one excuse after another, until he just plain wears you out.
As if this weren't enough to endure, embedded in his excuses are outrageous demands: [1] you must totally accept his failing to do what he was supposed to do [2] you must totally forgive him, and [3] you must totally relinquish your expectations of him. Meet these three demands, he maintains, and he won't have to resort to excuses!
Sadly, the more your Crazy-Making Husband deploys excuses, the better he gets at it. The more strategic.
What can we wives do, to protect our selves from the fallout of THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND'S RULE #2?
Typical Strategic Moves of beleaguered wives are:
Strategic Move 1: We continue to confront him when he continues to fail to do what he promised -- and continue to be subjected to aching disappointment, frustration and humiliation. Our Underlying Assumption: He'll 'see the light' and abandon the folly of his ways.
Strategic Move 2: We cease all expectations -- and have a marriage where reliability is non-existent, and utter loneness is assured. Our Underlying Assumption: If confrontations cease, we'll have the energy to do everything ourselves, and not have to rely on him.
Thankfully, there's a third Strategic Move. One that dulls the effects of his crazy-making, helps us focus properly, enables us to achieve clarity of thought, and grants us access to the beginnings of our marital empowerment.
Strategic Move 3: We sit down with ourselves, and over time, take inventory of what we expect from our husbands -- and the ways in which he fails us. Alone, and in discussion with trusted others, we assess which of our expectations are reasonable. We prioritize our reasonable expectations. Then we re-test them on him. We observe. We decide what we can live without. And what we CAN'T live without. Our Underlying Assumption: We strengthen our sanity by acting in our true self-interest, despite and amidst the crazy-making of our husbands.
Standing in the line of his excuse-fire is not merely exasperating. It is damaging -- for in their delivery, our sanity is attacked.
If your husband chronically uses excuses, protect your precious self. Take a deep breath, and move aside. Faithfully practice Strategic Move 3.
The relief you'll feel will astound you!
Purchase Martha/Muffy's book here - Available New or Used!
Visit Martha's website: http://www.crazedwives.com
The Importance of Self Rejuvenation: A Little Me Time
Rejuvenate Your Emotional Bucket
Many of us rue the end of Summer. Children go back to school, which means schedules become hectic and time is once again, of the essence. Mornings are harried and evenings tend to be a bit more stressed than we’d like.
During the transition from Summer to Fall, we women tend to get caught up in taking care of everyone else, and our own health and wellness is put on hold. Even the rejuvenation of what I like to call our “emotional buckets”. Each day we are given a certain amount of emotional energy to start the day. During the day it ekes out to care for children, bosses, medical appointments, and just the chaos of daily life.
If we don’t take the time to step back from the chaos, even a few minutes each day, and rejuvenate that emotional energy, we soon run out. We crash. We get cranky and short tempered; often hearing words being spat from our mouths without liking them.
Every woman deserves a little “me time.” Carve out a few minutes each day to catch up with friends, paint your nails, go for a jog, or even meditate or exercise. That small moment can refill your emotional bucket and ready you for the evenings’ madness.
Feel free to connect with other busy women like yourselves on The Women’s Nest. A free community of women helping women. Make new friends, blog to keep your family updated, vent, cry, or share a laugh. It’s your community. Take advantage of it and refill your bucket!
Just a thought, by Thinkhappy
Violent Crime - Is it Really on The Rise?
Just ask anyone who watches the news in this country and they will most likely tell you the same thing: Crime is getting out of control and rising quickly. If you get all of your information from the nightly news, you would probably think the same thing. But, guess what? You would be wrong. Of course, crime is worse now than it was in the 1950’s. Since then there has been a great population boom and the introduction of several new drugs to this country too, only making the crime that much more deadly.
But, according to the FBI’s Uniform Crime Report, violent crime in 2006 decreased a whopping 13.9% since 1997. That’s a lot! Surprising huh? Don’t get too comfy just yet. Hundreds of thousands of women are assaulted each year, most often by someone they know. Although rape and assault by strangers are rarer, they still happen. What do you do to stay safe in these times? Many of us could benefit from talking with our friends about the risks out there and sharing ideas and advice on how to keep safe. If you have something to share with other women, ways we can help each other keep safe; join us in the Women’s Forum.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Water Conservation
Most women realize that water is a limited resource. We might even know that by wasting this precious liquid, we are getting ourselves closer and closer to a world with tough water restrictions and limited availability. But how many of us do things to conserve water? With horrible droughts plaguing the country, many Americans are forced to deal with water restrictions already and are looking at new ways to conserve.
Try hand washing dishes if you don’t have a full load. Keeping a sink full of hot soapy water to wash the occasional dish uses much less water than running the dishwasher. Use a brick or other item to displace water in your toilet tanks. Always make sure you are washing full loads of laundry and use things like towels multiple times before washing. Someone left a glass of water on the counter? Don’t dump it down the drain; use it on your plants or put it in the dog’s dish.
Think about ways you can preserve this most precious natural resource. Come and share your conservation tips and discuss other environmental issues with concerned women like you in the Women’s Forum.
Article Written by Elizabeth Renter
Weight Loss Motivation
Motivation is definitely a weight loss buzz word. When someone has successfully lost weight we say things like “She’s so motivated!” “I wonder where she gets her motivation.” Much of the time, these weight loss success stories have a secret. Their secret: THEY’RE NOT MOTIVATED! Yes, that’s right, at least no more than you or I. The secret is that if they waited around to be motivated, they would’ve probably never lost the weight.
Successful weight loss happens when you don’t wait for your mind to decide it’s motivated, you just do it! The more you sit and think about the pounds you have to lose, the more likely you will grab a Big Mac and claim you are “unmotivated”. Stop thinking about it and go. You have to head out the door, lace up your sneakers, buy healthy foods, and make choices that line up with your goal before your mind has a chance to ruin it. In the beginning it is hard to ignore that unmotivated voice, but with time it gets easier.
Are you a weight loss success story with secrets to share? Are you simply feeling unmotivated and can’t get out of the rut? Come share your stories and get weight loss advice from women just like you in the Women’s Forum.
Article Written by Elizabeth Renter
What Are The Pitfalls of Working At Home And Being A Mother?
The fax machine's shrill tone broke into the still silent room. I leaped to grab the receiver and terminate the transmission; having just managed to put my fussy teething baby down for his nap, I was determined that nothing would disturb his rest. Unfortunately, that fax had been from my client. Now I'd have to call him back and ask him to re-send after I'd turned the ringer off. That would entail some over-the-phone \"face time\", where he'd pick my brain for several minutes, or just shoot the breeze while I itched to get some work done while the baby slept.
Being a full-time mother and working from home has many challenges. Originally, it seemed like the best idea ever. I could still be bringing in money while at the same time being able to attend "Mommy and Me" groups. I am a dedicated worker, and I knew the baby had to sleep sometime. It sounded like a great idea, but there were two major problems. My new baby was really fussy, and I had to hold him for a long time for him to get to sleep. Besides that, my best customer required even more coddling than the baby, and I had to talk to him on the phone for long periods of time.
It's hard when you're a work from home mom. You never know who comes first ??" the baby or the client. I finally had to put my foot down one day. The client and I had just had a long conversation, so I went to take care of the baby. He seemed a little feverish, and right when I was taking his temperature, the phone rang and the answering machine called out, "Hello? Are you still there? Did you go somewhere? Hello?" That was the last straw.
I was to blame for allowing the customer to take up all my time. Therefore, I had to fix the problem by forcing myself to become more efficient or else I would continue this problem. Everything became easier once I told my clients that I would only be working after 10:00 p.m. They could email or fax me during the day, but I would actually only be working at night. That way, I could take care of my baby while he was awake and totally focus on their projects when I was working. It also helped cure my clients of keeping me on the phone with marathon calls.
What makes it hard to be a work at home mom? Finding time for everything. I set up a schedule for returning client's phone calls, one per client per day. It made all of use focus on the important things when we did talk, and the business became more streamlined on both ends, which was a win-win situation. The quality of my work got better, and my customers ended up actually paying less because fewer errors were made due to interruptions.
My clients soon got used to the new schedule, and I became much more productive. I had learned to manage my time in small increments, which even let me get the house cleaned up on a regular basis. My baby, however, soon became a toddler. His naps changed from the morning to the afternoon, and just trying to keep up with him would wear me out, leaving me unable to get anything done while he was sleeping.
That was when I had to make major adjustments to my schedule for the second time. I had to allow time for my boy to play outside, allowing him to play freely and wear himself out a little. That way, I didn't spend all my time picking up and cleaning up behind him as he made a disaster area out of our home.
Now my teenagers (yes, I have more than one) are easier to handle. After 15 years of working at home, I now mainly handle a few writing and editing jobs. With all the technological advances in those 15 years, I can now service clients whom I've never even met, which certainly saves me wear and tear on my car as well as gas money. And although my children can take of themselves now, I still prefer to do most of my work at night. That way, I can still work while my little ones sleep.
Article by Jessica Franks
Are you trying to balance work and family life? Join other women like yourself and vent, gain advice, friendship, and fun - Welcome to the Women's Nest! We're waiting to meet you!
What's New at The Nest?
All kinds of cool things are happening at The Women's Nest! Thanks to Jim and Chris Love at Performance Advantage, we have an awesome new look & feel for TWN! We've added feature articles in Entertainment, Health and Wellness, Life and Leisure, and US News - Please feel free to leave comments and then join other women in our Women's Forums (now integrated and found to the left) for discussions about everything from Family to Rants and Raves! Members now have the opportunity to create their own blogs! Create one in Your Account (found in the Menu to the left). Members can earn points by referring other members, and best of all - WIN PRIZES!! So gather names and send them an invitation to join! Take your time and explore our new site - patience is appreciated while we all learn this new wonderful system! See more in Where Do I Start (below) and FAQ (menu to left).
Winning the War on Breast Cancer - Early Detection is Vital
According to the American Cancer Society, in 2006 40,970 women died from breast cancer. They are harsh statistics. But they are statistics that deserve attention. Many of you probably knew someone who lost the battle. Many of you may have fought and prevailed. Some of you may be fighting it right now.
As women it is our job to educate each other about breast cancer detection. It is also our job to support each other once we have been diagnosed with this killer. Although breast cancer is not a death sentence, it is a very tough fight. It is important to know that breast cancer statistics have been declining since 1990. Breast cancer awareness has risen exponentially since this time as well. This is no coincidence. Early detection is vital when it comes to winning the battle against breast cancer.
Come chat with other women in our Women's Forum about health, wellness, family, and many other issues!
Women's Health: Cultivating Bliss in Your Pit of Darkness
CULTIVATING BLISS IN YOUR PIT OF DARKNESS by Martha Trowbridge
Within the life-worn woman, there spreads a pit so black, so wide, so bottomless, so emptied of all that is meaningful or connective, that one by one, every cell within her darkens.
Depression has seized her Spirit.
Bravery has no merit. Entertainment, distraction, dreaming, all are futile. You feel like the living dead.
Despite your efforts, the pit within you becomes impossible to conceal. Soon, your inside slumps out. All that was dear to you feels spilled into a void and forever lost.
In your Inner Universe, light no longer shines. No amount of persuasion, or force, can pull you out of your Pit Of Darkness. If hell exists, surely it dwells within your agonized self.
Through depression’s painful agony, your Spirit’s life-alarm has reached a not-to-be-silenced pitch. Although your depression feels like your very worst enemy, and suffer unspeakably you do, she is your Spirit’s fiercest ally. She has come to speak to you. Her words are vital.
Her visit is odd therapy: an irascible, painful, prodding demand that you restructure your life, root out ills, and plant in their place profound self-love and absolute self-respect. In short, she wants you to create for your Spirit the environs and support She deserves -- and sorely needs.
********
Every Pit Of Darkness is custom-made.
Your personal Pit Of Darkness is furnished with feelings and memories designed to torment you. It is wired with sounds to alarm you. It is programmed with your most harsh, critical, terrifying inner voices.
The walls -- if, through the darkness, you can find them -- are iced and slippery, yet studded with gashing thorns. Your Pit has no bottom. You cannot grasp the ridge at its top.
From your Pit, no one can hear you scream.
Time has no meaning there. Self has no importance. Power, money, connections -- no thing or person, no matter how well intentioned, can foreshorten your stay.
The only way 'out' is through bliss.
What is bliss? The Encarta World Dictionary describes it as perfect, untroubled happiness ... a state of spiritual joy. Encarta's other words for bliss: ecstasy, heaven, paradise, delight.
Every woman's Spirit, be she depressed, elated, or somewhere in between, regularly requires bliss. Yet, if you are depressed, experiencing bliss seems 'impossible'. This utter lack of joy in their lives is for many women the most devastating aspect of their depression.
The ability to cultivate and sustain bliss in your Pit Of Darkness is essential. Bliss is your Spirit's fortifier, its means of resuscitation, the inner fuel you use to propel your Spirit up from -- and forever out of -- your Pit Of Darkness. [1]
Yet, feeling and thinking as you do, how on earth can you possibly experience bliss?
Bliss resides in every genuine self-love overture you make.
In your quest for the healing, restorative and sustaining powers of bliss, your self-love overtures can focus upon your feelings, your thinking, and/or your behavior -- it does not matter. What matters is your intention: you must come to your Spirit's aid with wholehearted resolve to now -- and forever -- approach your Spirit with overtures of genuine self-love.
So. Where to begin? You begin with this awareness:
Every woman's Pit Of Darkness
is custom-designed
to showcase the Inner Universe reconstruction needs
of its inhabitant.
Meaning: your particular stressors [fears, failings, losses, worries, shame, traumas, grief, and so on] and the havoc they wreak on your Spirit specifically point to the reconstructive work required in your Sacred Inner Universe.
********
Every Pit Of Darkness can be custom-transformed.
The transformation occurs via genuine self-love overtures. Overtures which, with dedication and practice, yield your suffering Spirit the bliss it so sorely lacks. [Two contemplations follow this article. Their techniques are designed to help you activate your bliss.]
The wondrous energy of bliss transmutes merciless self-criticism into wholehearted self-embrace. Blessedly, it prompts your turning toward yourself -- perhaps for the first time ever -- with a genuine loving eye, a kind eye, a thoroughly self-supportive eye. Bliss creates in you profound satisfaction. Peace. Assurance. When your Spirit dwells in an Inner Universe imbued with bliss, the shortcomings, failings, wounds and worries of your life cease to occupy a position of authority. Yes, they may be 'there', but they become relegated to their appropriate position: lowly subordinates to the magnificent, reigning power of bliss.
If you are deeply depressed, your initial attempts at cultivating bliss will likely produce little. This is to be expected. Think of it this way: your Spirit needs coaxing, to 'come back'. She needs to trust that you are now committed to its caretaking. She needs to be assured that from this moment on, you have made a solemn promise to genuinely, wholeheartedly, and faithfully practice self-love.
As you conduct your bliss-work, you must trust that with dedicated self-love overtures, bliss can be yours. You must trust that bliss is 'there', within you, even if you cannot sense it. With every failed attempt to access your bliss, you must infallibly believe, that when the moment is right, your bliss will begin to manifest.
You must not grow impatient, or frustrated, as you conduct your bliss-work. Instead, you must quietly and wholeheartedly surrender your weary Spirit to the glorious, transformative, phenomenal process of genuine self-love.
&&&&&&&&
At last, the amazing moment manifests.
Up from a place so profoundly deep within you, you do not recognize it, bliss emerges.
At first, it may feel like a spark. It may come, and go, like the quick light of a firefly. That may be all you feel.
Rejoice! Your Pit Of Darkness has been visited by bliss. It happened. Your Spirit felt bliss! As you continue your genuine self-love overtures, you will feel bliss again. More intensely. For longer periods of time.
Liken your spark of bliss to a tiny coal in a woodstove. Carefully, stubbornly encircle it. Protect it. Nurture its burning. Add to its life, by assembling around it thoughts, memories and wishes that evoke in you joyous energy. As you fall asleep each night, remind your self: today I was able to feel bliss! Delight in this fact, even if your bliss was only for a moment -- it is proof you can once again experience bliss!
With faithful self-love, you will.
Remember: as you cultivate your bliss with continued overtures of genuine self-love, longer and more intensely, your bliss-sparks will stay lit. Soon they will aggregate into a 'fire' that ever-burns within you.
Trust that the tiniest spark -- oh so delightful, and determined -- lies within you, at this very moment. [2] Imagine it, there, burning. Imagine your bliss, within you!!! Soon, there will be another spark. Then another.
Though, for now, you remain 'trapped' in your Pit Of Darkness, continue to draw in tiny sparks of bliss, and make them yours. Ferociously, defend them against attack. Against efforts by others to extinguish their precious energies. They are yours -- wonderfully warm, revitalizing feelings for you to wholly love and cherish. Feelings that prove: with work, you can be joyous once again -- or, for the very first time.
As you read this article, you are a witness: my bliss-sparks have aggregated into a wondrous ever-burning flame, lighting, warming, energizing me. Strengthening me. Empowering me to happily step back into the shoes of The Woman I Was Born To Be.
If today, you can identify a tiny bit of bliss within you, from it evoke the hope of joy, tomorrow. Then tomorrow, perhaps, you can cultivate another tiny bit of bliss. And so on. With ongoing dedication, some day, your entire precious Spirit, triumphant in self-love, will resonate with bliss.
Conscious cultivation of bliss is something most women were never taught to do. As we prepare to gloriously Rebirth out of our Pit Of Darkness into The Women We Were Born To Be, cultivating bliss is our most important task.
Reflection: When you are up to it, in a quiet private place, begin to list the 'self-beliefs' you have, as you suffer depression. It likely will take several visits within you to compile your self-belief profile. As you reflect and write, do not judge or condemn your self -- just report. When you sense that all has been recorded, place this paper in a private place and let it be.
As You Prepare To Rebirth: Without consulting your self-belief profile, which one of your negative self-beliefs would you like to begin to correct? [It may be helpful to start with the smallest of your negative self--beliefs.] Once you have chosen a self-belief to work at, imagine you are another woman, a wise, wonderful, trustworthy woman, looking at yourself. What in your life-history can she see, that identifies the root of this painful belief? What small 'correcting' observation -- based upon an event in your life-history -- can she suggest you embrace?
Now, close your eyes. Gently pushing aside any intrusive painful thoughts and feelings, once again be that other woman. Imagine she is looking at your earliest days. Focus. Can she identify one moment, when you were a child or young girl, in which you displayed the OPPOSITE of your current painful self-belief? Think. Think of that long-ago time. Stay very quiet. Breathe deeply. Breathe gently. Aaaah. There it is: the recognition of a moment in your life, in which the horrible negative false self-belief that now controls you, simply did not exist. Savor this moment, in which you were the opposite of what you now feel you are. Recall the reality of your strength. [Please note that you likely will not feel this reality yet. But you can think about it.] In your Spirit, scan for a tiny spark of bliss.
If you have the time and energy, recall another specific situation in which you displayed this strength. Do not expect to 'feel' your strength in your current state of Spirit -- you may not yet be ready.
If, at this time, you are unable to generate a spark of bliss, so be it. Do not despair. When you are up to it, try this exercise again, perhaps in a different setting, or at a different time of day. If you find yourself feeling stuck, try working at a different false self-belief. Your Spirit may so devastated, it needs additional coaxing to trust again. Assure Her that you are now prepared -- and committed -- to tend to Her wellbeing.
As you practice genuine self-love overtures, and continue with your reflections, bliss -- even if in tiny sparks -- will begin to inhabit your Pit Of Darkness. Once it does, you'll have commenced your glorious Rebirth into The Woman You Were Born To Be.
NOTES
1. Actually, as you emerge, your self-love overtures work to 'fill' your Pit with wondrous energies, neutralizing and replacing its snarling negative energies, so that in time your Pit's existence is merely a unpleasant memory.
2. How do I know this? I know this by the simple fact that you come to these words, seeking.
Copyright 2008 Martha Trowbridge
Women's Health: "Sleep With the Angels!"
Copyright 2008 Martha Trowbridge
“Sleep With The Angels!”
When I was a child, “Sleep with the Angels!” was my mother’s evening-tide farewell. At the time, these words meant nothing. As far as I could determine, Angels were just another figment of the Christian imagination. Besides, why would I want to sleep with Angels? From what I’d been taught, they lived in heaven, which meant, if I were to sleep with them, I’d have to be dead!
Then trauma [1] took control of me. And the only thing farther from my reality than Angels was my ability to sleep.
The cruelest aspect of trauma and depression is that we cannot access restful sleep.
With trauma, our agitation is intense. If it isn’t nightmares torturing us, it’s our profound inability to relax. Or the fact that every sound amplifies into a red-alert signal, evoking in our already weary bodies painful, over-vigilant arousal. Or that seemingly without provocation, terrifying memories ambush us.
With depression, conversely, our state of Spirit is often near-death. Grief, swamping sadness, a sense of utter failure, despair, shame, heartbreak and other acutely painful negative thoughts, memories and feelings prevent us from sleeping peacefully.
Traumatic depression is the horrible Spirit thrashing of both these phenomena -- depression and trauma -- simultaneously.
Regardless of the nature of our sufferings, painful intrusions upon our weary Spirit make the prospect of going to sleep terrifying. How we fear another endless night, in which rather than being revitalized, we grow even more exhausted!
Where can we turn?
One trustworthy source is your Spirit Helpers. Spirit Helpers are any and all energies, experiences and entities [such as Angels] who assist your Spirit, especially when She is in grave need. Kindness, patience, purity, gentleness, caring, goodness, and sublime strength are their hallmarks. Experience your Spirit Helpers' awesome assistance, and you will be forever transformed.
If I may share a personal encounter.......
One fallout of my trauma was that I stopped driving. And the longer I didn’t drive, the more fearful of driving I became.
After years away from the wheel, at last I got the courage to try to drive again. It was a real test: I now lived in the country, with five miles of dirt road to travel til pavement. I was miles and miles from everything -- totally opposite to my forty-plus years of city life.
Then, one summer day, enroute back from the Capitol, twenty miles from my home, a severe electrical storm with torrential flooding rains struck. At this point, I was comfortable driving only in sunshine, on low-traffic country roads. But there I was, on the busy interstate, fourteen-wheelers and arrogant SUV drivers sweeping all about me, as in the right lane I traveled at 40 mph.
Today, I can chuckle about it, recalling the scene: angry drivers tail-gating and blasting their horns as they sped past me. But it wasn’t funny then. What to do? With the dim visibility, pulling off the road would probably be dangerous. Panicking would be even more dangerous.
Thankfully, just the day before I’d been thinking of writing about Angels in a column. I was also thinking of my recently departed Mother, who over and over had urged me to get back to driving, so as not to be dependent on my husband, as she -- who never drove -- had always been on hers.
Immersed in the storm's fury, attempting to keep calm, I did what my Mother would have suggested: I called on Angels to surround my car with their white light and graceful, protective Energy.
And lo and behold, within a moment, I actually felt them fluttering within and around my car! Through the violent storm, safely, they ushered me. It was as if I no longer had to operate my vehicle. It was strange and awesome and glorious. Not only did I travel peacefully all the way home, I had an experience I will never forget.
That night, this Angel-encounter helped me in yet another powerful way: for the first time in more than a decade, my sleep was oh so wonderful, and remained so, for scores of nights thereafter.
Angels need not have any specific religious association. However you imagine them, their pure, wholesome, kind and compassionate Energy inarguably exists. The more attuned to it I grow, the more I feel it. And the more wonder it works, transmuting my life.
I am delighted to have discovered it!
If you have trouble with the concept of Angels, perhaps it would help if you think of them as symbols. As embodiments of goodness and kindness. Perhaps then, you can feel free enough to open up your self to their compassionate, glorious aide.
Remember, they are your Angels. Your personal, private Spirit Helpers. You alone choose their colors, their tones, their garb. You alone choose the very special Energy you need, to help you heal from your specific pain.
Your Spirit Helpers are there, right there, for your experiencing -- exquisite creatures who will encircle your suffering Spirit, caress you, and help you to once again be loving toward your self, and to be loved.
At nap-time or night-time, in times of stress, or in times of sheer exhaustion, call upon the Angels in your Universe! Seek their uplifting! They are there for you. They have seen much. They are wise and strong and oh so gloriously giving.
Angels are fabulous. For my mother’s last Christmas, I made her an apron. Amazingly, the fabric I chose was adorned with adorable smiling Angels, colored pink with blue and yellow trim, on a lovely parchment-color background. For the lining I chose soft yellow sateen. How beautiful that apron was! How evocative of everything that is warm, and caring, and pure, and safe!
As I sewed the apron, I had no idea my mother would die before another Christmas came round. I had no idea that my choice of Angel fabric foreshadowed the fact that she would soon be thoroughly Spirit.
How grateful I am for what my Mother tried to tell me as a child, when night after night she bade me “Sleep with the Angels!”
From her Angelic state, her voice echoes through my Spirit; and as it does, I comprehend the wisdom of her words.
Reflection: If you could imagine three qualities you would absolutely love in a Spirit Helper, right now, what are they? How would you utilize each of these three qualities, to help your Spirit in its wondrous resuscitation?
As You Prepare To Rebirth: Next time you are having difficulty accessing restful sleep, sit up in bed and click on your lamp. Take a fresh piece of paper and a pencil, and freely record whatever thoughts and feelings are intruding upon your sleep-efforts.
When you feel you have recorded these things fully, close your eyes and imagine placing them into a huge burlap sack. Pull tight the sack's drawstring closure. Smile. Imagine that a wonderful assisting Energy hovers over your bed, and is reaching down to lift this sack high in the air, to carry it away. Imagine her. Feel her kindness. Feel her caring. Feel her divine strength. Now, holding these feelings in your heart, allow her to emit into your heart light, compassion and joy. Imagine her hovering, just above your bed. Watch as her lovely hand takes hold of your sack. Feel the sack lifting, up and away from your weary Spirit. Imagine her face -- she is beaming. Imagine her purity of purpose, there with you -- how totally devoted she is to you! What color is her dress [or however you perceive her clothing]? What does she look like? Can you discern her name? What about her can you hold on to, so that the next time you need her, you can call upon her?
NOTES:
1. As a victim of violence, for many years I suffered what psychologists call 'Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder' [PTSD], including Traumatic Depression. In my lexicon, this term is inappropriate: there is no 'post' when you suffer from trauma's aftermaths. Until you resolve your sufferings, your trauma lives on.
Women's Health: Havoc Wreaking Hormones
When we were teens, our hormones played all sorts of games with our bodies and our brains - and often, we loved it! Let's face it, raging hormones played a key role in our s*xuality, confidence, or lack there of, even our hair and nails benefited from our lovely changing body chemicals!
As we age, however, sometimes hormonal changes are not so fun to deal with. C'mon, ladies, you know what I'm talking about. In your 30's you might be fighting PMS-induced fatigue. Many of us reach for sugary treats to give ourselves a boost. Try reaching for the trail mix instead, and adding a few chocolate chips to make it sweet. The protein and carbs will even out your blood sugar and not steal your energy.
Bloating? Try vitamin B6. It acts as a mild diuretic, making you pee more - a good thing when you're retaining water.
Women like me (Thinkhappy), in our 40's and 6-10 years before menopoause, a woman's hormone cycle starts to lose its bearings - there's no rhyme or reason to the changes going on in our bodies! Regular exercise releases "happy hormones," or endorphins, that make us feel good all over, and not so moody.
Dry skin? Eat more Omega3 fatty acids. Think fish - salmon and tuna - oily fish.
In your 50's? Now's the time of your life! Breathe deep for 20 minutes 3x each week to help you combat hot flashes.
Sleep better with socks on your feet - it helps combat night sweats (believe it or not!).
Better s*x! Oh yes! Often times loss of libido is due to lower levels of testosterone and estrogen levels - ask your doctor for a blood test to check hormone levels. She may recommend a compounded testosterone cream.
Life is good - live it to the fullest at every age! And always remember....Think happy!
Women's Health: Healthy Eating!
Spring, Summer, Winter, or Fall - Don't they all call for healthy eating? Otherwise, we're doing the circular habit of eating and losing and really messing up our metabolism! But who can eat well all the time? No one can. It's not realistic to think anyone is capable of never noshing on anything sweet or savory - or pigging out on pizza and ice cream once and a while. That's the key; "once and a while."
To jump start your eating plan, choose healthy carbs (veges, fruits, and legumes). The fiber in these foods slows down digestion and helps you feel full longer.
Go for good fats (monosaturated fatty acids in olive, peanut, avocado, and canola oils. Eat plenty of fish, throw in some nuts, and keep, and you should feel full and satisfied!
Lean proteins include lean cuts of beef, pork, lamb, egg whites, soy products, and beans/legumes.
A well rounded diet will combat your "once in a while" allowances. Just remember, having a treat once in a while is really okay - Don't beat yourself up or think you did the worst thing possible. Remember, we're all human, and we enjoy our foods. It's okay to enjoy them. Once you've satisfied that once in a while craving, it's done - move on. Get back into your better eating habits and praise yourself for having the ability to do so!
Women's Health: Slow Your Roll
Too often as women we find ourselves going a million directions at once. We are trying to boost our career, care for our home, pay bills, nurture friendships, find or keep a man, all while attempting to maintain some semblance of sanity. We often forget that in order to maintain all of this we have to take time for ourselves. We get so wrapped up in the constant movement of life we forget how to be still. We find ourselves trying a 5 minute meditation, all the while thinking about what we could be doing instead.
Stop. No one is going to tell you to take time for yourself. Life will continue to move at warp speed if YOU don’t put the brakes on at sometime. You have allowed your life to take on a frantic pace and it is up to you to slow it down enough to catch your breath.
Pick a time of day when the least amount of traffic is going on. Whether it is first thing in the morning or right before you lay down for sleep. Take some deep breaths and feel the oxygen permeating your cells, relaxing you. Remind yourself that you deserve some peace in your life. Of course at first you will be running down a grocery list in your head. But keep at it! Like anything, r