Life and Leisure
Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and relax. We run so hard in our day to day lives that we sometimes miss the point -- Life is here to be enjoyed. We'll address life and leisure in our insightful articles and your commentary (located below the news feed).
Join us in the Women's Forum, and escape the chaos of your daily life!
"Enjoy each and every day...no one else will do it for you!" Thinkhappy
Afraid of the Economy?
It seems like all Americans are watching the TV and waiting for the latest bad news about the economy. We can’t help it. It’s on every day! Unemployment rates are high and the stock market is unstable. We are feeling the pinch at the grocery store and most certainly at the pump. Even the president seemed surprised when he was told gas might reach $4 per gallon.
Although our government is working on relief, you can’t help but wonder if it will truly help. The more fear we have, the tighter we hold onto our money and the worse it gets. We can clip coupons and carpool to trim the fat when possible. However, we have to drive and we need to eat.
What does your household do to save when funds are limited? Do you believe the governments relief effort will help? Come talk about the economy and other issues weighing on your mind in the Women’s’ Nest Women’s Forum Financial area.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Are You In A Rut? Try a Self-Makeover!
When was the last time you changed something about your appearance? Sometimes we get so used to the routine and the rhythm of life, we are in a rut and don’t even recognize it. Taking time for yourself can put you in a better place mentally and emotionally.
Color your hair and get a cut. Get your nails done and buy a new outfit. Invite a girlfriend and make a day out of it. Don’t let a lack of spending money stop you either. You can paint your nails yourself and reconfigure your wardrobe. Switch your hairstyle by losing that tired ponytail. A makeover can give you that extra pep you need when the routine is bringing you down.
What do you do when you’re in a style rut? Women like you are talking about style and other fun issues in the Women’s Forum right now. Come join us and share your makeover and style tips.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Becoming an Artist!
Becoming an Artist
When’s the last time you picked up a crayon? Remember when you were a child and you got a new box? All the sharp colors lined up just waiting for you to create. Remember thinking that you were such a good “colorer” you were going to be an artist? Crayons have not lost their fun!
Rekindle that affair with crayons. If you’re a mom you certainly already have the necessary tools. If you’re not, go to the store and pick out a fresh box of crayons and a new coloring book. I promise that the thrill will still be there. There’s something very relaxing about coloring. It affords you the “quiet time” that so many of us need to take once in a while.
Come share your artistic talents and talk about how you spend your quiet time in the Women’s Forum.
Article Written by Elizabeth Renter
Buying Organic
We are all trying to do our part for the environment. In the case of buying organic foods, we are doing a service to the environment as well as doing our bodies a favor. It doesn’t take a mathematician, however, to realize that when you buy organic, you probably pay more. Depending how far you are from the organic grower, what season it is and where you are shopping, you can pay more than twice as much for organic goods.
So, how can you continue to buy organic without breaking the bank? Well, there are several ways to watch your spending when it comes to organic. First, don’t just shop at the supermarket. Check out local farmers markets. They offer fresh, organic products with fun community flair. Check out health food stores. They are more likely to have sales on organic items. Also, buy in season. When the growing season is booming, prices drop. That is the time to stock up. Many fruits and vegetables can be easily frozen or preserved.
Do you buy organic? Are you interested in learning about organic foods from women who do? Come chat about this and other issues relating to the environment and women’s health at the Women’s Nest Women’s Forum.
Article Written by Elizabeth Renter
Day Trippin'
If you’re like the majority of Americans, you are feeling the pinch in your wallet, purse, or clutch. However, even though we can’t spend extravagantly we still need to treat ourselves to a break. Maybe you can’t afford a cruise or can’t manage to take the kids to
Sometimes it doesn’t take a week’s vacation to relax. Of course we all wish we could take that much time off, but the majority of us will only take major vacations a few times in our lives. The rest of us can take a “time out” and enjoy a 24 hour break.
Do you have a place you go for day trips? Have any suggestions for your fellow moms or women on where to get a little “r&r”? Come chat about your latest excursion with the ladies in the Women’s Forum.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Decorating With Nature
With home improvement and decorating all the rage these days, it’s not hard to find new and different materials to use in your home. No, I don’t mean laying sod in your living room, that’s taking “green” a little too far! What I mean is there are many decorating options on the market these days that are made exclusively from natural products.
Textiles are being made with recycled material or derived from natural plant sources. You can buy wood for your cabinetry and flooring that is produced through less harmful means and isn’t finished with harmful chemicals. Paint even comes in eco-friendly options.
Have you thought of ways to get your home “green”? Come share your ideas in the Women’s Forum, where there are women discussing environmental issues right now.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Did You Hear? An Article About TWN on DCMilitary.com!
We are here for all women, of course, but kudos really needs to go out to the women of the armed forces, and the family members and spouses of those who are fighting. The women who are left home while their husbands are deployed are heros just as much as the men who fight. We are here for you! Read the wonderful article (below) and then come make new friends and share your stories in The Women's Nest Women's Forum!
Published March 14, 2008, The Stripe, http://www.dcmilitary.com/stories/031308/stripe_28292.shtml
Family member starts online service focused on support of spouses
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A military Family member has started a free online community for women called The Women's Nest.
"We offer free support to women (only), connecting women across the world to gain advice, share stories, and develop friendships," said Melissa Foster. "We have found that this support is desperately needed among military women."
Foster's husband is Lt. Col. (Dr.) Leslie Foster, who's been in the military for 16 years and is currently assigned to Walter Reed Army Medical Center.
"Our Family has enjoyed many benefits of military life. However, there are many families that are trying to cope with deployed fathers, husbands, brothers, sisters, and mothers," she said in explaining the purpose for the online community.
"We also have experts on staff (all volunteer) that provide information about many topics at no cost. Furthermore, we offer a place for each woman to have her own blog, where she can document her daily life and her family members that are not with her are able to read and stay connected. We also hostseveral new women-related articles each week," she added.
Interested people can visit the site at www.thewomensnest.com.
Family Vacations!
Some of us remember long summer road trips and endless happy memories with our families on vacation. Others remember spending vacations at Grandma’s and wondering when we would be able to go on a “real” vacation. Today there are many affordable options so just about everyone can afford some type of family vacation.
With the world at our fingertips, the internet has become our own personal travel agent as you can peruse deals from all over the country and all over the world. Going to the beach in early October will save you hundreds over going in the middle of summer. If you’re willing to stay a little further out, hotel rates can be more manageable. Flexibility will save you money when it comes to vacations.
What are your dream vacations? How have you been able to go where you want, when you want? Come share your stories and suggestions in the Women’s Forum.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Fierce Female Friendships!
Have you ever had a friend who was your rock? A friend who knew when something was wrong and called right when you needed her? Sometimes, as we get older, we forget the value of good girlfriends. We forget all of those times we sat on the phone with a best friend, snot running down our face; bawling about the latest heartbreak. We forget about laughing until we cry. We forget about those bonds. We get all wrapped up in being a “grownup” and forget that good friendships are for grownups too!
How many friendships have you lost over the past decade? Usually there is no falling out, just a fading out. The phone calls get fewer and fewer. You have a hard time catching each other at simultaneous lulls in the day, and before you know it, it’s been 6 months! Reconnect. Reconnect with old friends or make some new ones. Don’t underestimate the power of a fierce friendship.
Come make new friends, share your experiences, and discuss women’s issues at the Women’s Nest Women’s Forum.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Gardening For Yourself, Your Family, Your Environment
Gardening For Yourself, Your Family, Your Environment
Remember when just about every family had a garden? Now it’s considered pretty rare. In this day and age when fast food is a regular week night meal rather than a rare treat, we are accustomed to convenience. It requires some work, but the benefits are plenty.
Gardening is therapy. It feels good to get your hands in some dirt. Gardening helps the environment and allows you to eat organic foods without the high cost. Gardening can also be an opportunity for building relationships with your family members. Children get a great sense of accomplishment by growing food from seeds. It also allows them to appreciate things that are usually taken for granted.
These days there’s no excuse to not garden. It is relatively easy and you can get help from the sales person at the nursery or from the library. Gardens don’t have to take up a quarter acre; you can garden in a corner of your yard or in pots on your porch.
Do you have a green thumb? Maybe you have a fruitful garden already and can share your skills with women who are scared to get a little dirt under their nails. Come talk about it in the Women’s Nest Women’s Forum.
Article Written by Elizabeth Renter
Let the kids play!
As a mom it is really easy to say no. Raising kids, sometimes we find ourselves saying no and then thinking “I probably could’ve said yes to that one, but it’s too late now…I don’t wanna seem weak!” In parenting, we get so accustomed to telling the kids “no” it becomes a knee jerk reaction. Although I can think of a few parents who have the opposite problem and can’t spell discipline, I think the majority of us are quite good with the NO word. So good in fact that perhaps we should stop to think before we let it fly out of our mouths.
Kids thrive on playing. They use their imagination more in one day than we probably do in a week. So what if they make a mess when we let them pretend cook in the kitchen! Oh well, they’ll get wet if we let them play in the rain. Heaven forbid they get paint up to their elbows when it is only supposed to be “finger” paint!
These things are what memories are made of. Think back and I bet you can remember making messes and having a blast. I would never suggest you let your kid take life risking chances, but finger paint is pretty safe. Remember just because you relax on the “no” doesn’t mean you have to forget the: “You have to clean it up” or the ever popular “Because I told you so!”.
Come talk about your adventures in parenting with other moms in the Women’s Nest Women’s Forum.
Marriage and Relationships: The Crazy Making Husband; Excuses, Excuses!
Copyright 2008 Muffy Gibson
THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND:
His Rules And Rationalizations, Refreshingly Refuted by Reality
by Muffy Gibson, aka Martha Trowbridge
Excuses, Excuses
RULE #2 of The Crazy-Making Husband: ALWAYS HAVE HANDY AN IMPRESSIVE ARRAY OF EXCUSES.
Quick definition, 'Crazy-Making': thinking, feeling and behavior designed to drive you mad.
And what better way to drive you nuts, than barrage you with excuses?
Your husband's barrage of excuses has the same objective as brainwashing: to 'break' you. Bent on convincing you that your reaction to his bad behavior is invalid and unfair, vigorously and relentlessly he hurls one excuse after another, until he just plain wears you out.
As if this weren't enough to endure, embedded in his excuses are outrageous demands: [1] you must totally accept his failing to do what he was supposed to do [2] you must totally forgive him, and [3] you must totally relinquish your expectations of him. Meet these three demands, he maintains, and he won't have to resort to excuses!
Sadly, the more your Crazy-Making Husband deploys excuses, the better he gets at it. The more strategic.
What can we wives do, to protect our selves from the fallout of THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND'S RULE #2?
Typical Strategic Moves of beleaguered wives are:
Strategic Move 1: We continue to confront him when he continues to fail to do what he promised -- and continue to be subjected to aching disappointment, frustration and humiliation. Our Underlying Assumption: He'll 'see the light' and abandon the folly of his ways.
Strategic Move 2: We cease all expectations -- and have a marriage where reliability is non-existent, and utter loneness is assured. Our Underlying Assumption: If confrontations cease, we'll have the energy to do everything ourselves, and not have to rely on him.
Thankfully, there's a third Strategic Move. One that dulls the effects of his crazy-making, helps us focus properly, enables us to achieve clarity of thought, and grants us access to the beginnings of our marital empowerment.
Strategic Move 3: We sit down with ourselves, and over time, take inventory of what we expect from our husbands -- and the ways in which he fails us. Alone, and in discussion with trusted others, we assess which of our expectations are reasonable. We prioritize our reasonable expectations. Then we re-test them on him. We observe. We decide what we can live without. And what we CAN'T live without. Our Underlying Assumption: We strengthen our sanity by acting in our true self-interest, despite and amidst the crazy-making of our husbands.
Standing in the line of his excuse-fire is not merely exasperating. It is damaging -- for in their delivery, our sanity is attacked.
If your husband chronically uses excuses, protect your precious self. Take a deep breath, and move aside. Faithfully practice Strategic Move 3.
The relief you'll feel will astound you!
Purchase Martha/Muffy's book here - Available New or Used!
Mother Earth
Mother Earth
Native American spirituality refers to our planet as “Mother Earth”. What does this mean exactly? Well, take a look around you. Our earth gives birth to plants and animals on a daily basis. Our planet sustains our lives by providing food sources and air to breathe. She protects us with the ozone layer and gives us resources to build homes. She nourishes us with the water that flows from her and showers us with rain and sunshine.
When you think of all of the things that Mother Earth does for us, it is a little harder to disrespect her. Would you throw garbage in your mother’s face? Would you waste her precious resources with no regard to your descendants who will have to make use of it as well? Would you look at all your mother has done for you and let her slowly fade away?
What do you do to show your “Mother” you appreciate her? Come talk with other concerned women in the Women’s Nest Women’s Forum, where motherhood and our planet get the respect they so rightfully deserve!
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Recipe for a Better, Greener Society, by Adam Cohen, written for the Roanoke Times/ Roanoke.com
Adam Cohen
Cohen has lived in the region since 1984, is a sculptor, LEED accredited professional and is co-owner of Structures Design Build.
I was shaken out of a 15-year sleep when my 14-year-old asked how long people had been talking about global climate change. I answered that the '70s was the start of the public debate. He then asked a real eye-opener, "You mean people have been talking for 40 years without making any real changes?"
At this point I realized that I had let my children and all children down 15 years ago when I stopped pushing the agenda that I believe in. Like so many of my generation, I was raised to think I could make a difference in this world. Through my mid-30s I worked for change. What happened to me was typical of those my age: The personal needs of family and the reality of providing a living forced me to lay my ideals to the side while I worked in a system that, while flawed, allowed me to make a living.
My son's innocent question woke me up. I am going to make a radical proposal for this region. I propose a change to the way we approach living in this community.
I've watched people argue about what is best for our region. People advocate preserving our natural environment; attracting and retaining younger citizens; attracting investment, new industry and tourism. To this I would add: Deal with the inequities and misperceptions that our forebears created within our social structure.
Some of the locally hatched schemes to achieve this have included an art museum, an amphitheater, a trolley, a restaurant on Mill Mountain and rebuilding of the market area. While all of these will have some impact, none will truly set a new standard by which our region could be put on the leading edge of social and environmental sustainability.
Precisely because we have a relatively small population, we have the opportunity to create a forward-acting region that will create a dynamic society. There is a town, Malmo, Sweden, that has set an example of what forward-thinking and dedicated leadership can create, and I encourage readers to learn about their experiment.
We need visionary political change and grass-roots support for sustainable technologies to change the way we think about our society as well as our environment.
We must not take the have and have-not positions of the past, but must take the sympathetic position that we are only as strong as our weakest link. We must advocate for both political and social change of ideals.
Some of the specific ideas we can implement are:
n Establish a hydrogen refining facility powered by solar power. Make a commitment to convert a percentage of the city fleet to fuel cell vehicles as they age. Provide free hydrogen fill up to citizens who own fuel cell vehicles.
n Teach youth green-collar job skills by training them in solar photovoltaic power and solar thermal system installation. Do this by adding solar systems to the roofs of city buildings and tie the power back to the electric grid.
n Create significant financial incentives for sustainable green technology companies to locate in our region. Reach out to these firms and tie the incentives to job creation and clean production.
n Eliminate the personal property tax on low-emission and zero-emission vehicles.
n Reduce property taxes on LEED certified projects with the reduction tied to the LEED level attained.
n Establish financial incentives for rainwater and gray water recycling systems to reduce the impact on water demand in our area.
n Make a commitment to a comprehensive recycling program for all citizens and industry.
n Establish electric vehicles as part of our municipal fleet and create solar charging stations for fleet vehicles.
n Change our municipal bus fleet to natural gas or propane power.
n Use unutilized open spaces for free garden spaces for citizens within walking or biking distance.
n Offer incentives to municipal employees for carpooling, bike riding or use of low-emission and zero-emission vehicles, and encourage private industry to do the same.
n Preface our political and development decisions on whether the impact will be a positive or negative one on the next generation.
By following some or all of these concepts we can create a healthy, progressive area that will both attract new people as well as enhance the lives of those already here.
Relationships: There's No "Us" In Sght With The Crazy-Making Husband!
THE CRAZY-MAKING HUSBAND
TITLE: There's No 'Us' In Sight, With The Crazy-Making Husband
Look high. Look low. But don't be surprised. If you're married to a Crazy-Maker, in your marriage there's no 'Us' in sight!
For many wives, it's the most maddening aspect of life with The Crazy-Making Husband. Why no 'Us' in The Crazy-Maker's lexicon? He is simply unable -- and unwilling -- to view your marital relationship as anything but a power struggle. In his head, marriage = him v. you. In every situation, he either wins, or he loses. Period.
And fellow crazed wife, beware: The Crazy-Making Husband does not tolerate losses.
Nor does he ever forget them!
The reasons are many, and the pathways various, yet invariably, The Crazy-Making Husband's quest for marital power stems from the fact that, in your marital relationship, he feels you wield the power. So, winning in everyday interactions with you is vitally important.
Pause a moment, inspect his psyche. You'll see that it's downright dangerous for The Crazy-Making Husband to employ any frame but 'I v. You'. Shifting to 'Us' would not only intensify his fear of powerlessness, it would rock his foundation -- for he's built his life so that the Universe revolves around him alone.
There's more. A shift in his primary allegiance from his Royal Self to 'the greater good of you both' means adding to your wellbeing. Which isn't going to happen. In your marriage, in his head, his competitive posture is heavily laced with envy. Envy, you wonder? Yes. He may not show he notices things, but he does. He notices your hopes. Your vision. Your interests, and engagements. Your close friendships. Your achievements.
He especially notices when you're happy. Enthused. Excited.
Trapped in the deadness of his impoverished inner life, he just can't stand to see you happy. Your happiness is a 'win' for you. Meaning: a loss for him.
How well The Crazy-Making Husband keeps score! How vigorously he attends to the wounds of his 'losses', faithfully fanning his anger at them, to keep them fresh and hurting.
Because to him, 'giving in' means 'giving up' -- and losing -- everyday life with your Crazy-Making Husband is an endless power struggle. One of the first clues to my own husband's crazy-making was the awareness that every single day and night, in every interaction, I felt exhausted, like I'd been body-wrestling. Why, I'd wonder. "Why?" I'd ask him. "Why, in every conversation, do I feel like I'm wrestling with a gorilla?!" Crazy-Maker that he is, invariably, he'd reply: "You're crazy." Grrrrrrrr!
Next time you present a decision that needs to be made, or a plan you have for the two of you, or even something simple like a change in your mealtime schedule, assess your husband's reaction. After he gives his 'I' response, ask him why he decided the way he did.
And please, don't waste your precious energy looking for 'Us' in his answer!
Slow Your Roll
Too often as women we find ourselves going a million directions at once. We are trying to boost our career, care for our home, pay bills, nurture friendships, find or keep a man, all while attempting to maintain some semblance of sanity. We often forget that in order to maintain all of this we have to take time for ourselves. We get so wrapped up in the constant movement of life we forget how to be still. We find ourselves trying a 5 minute meditation, all the while thinking about what we could be doing instead.
Stop. No one is going to tell you to take time for yourself. Life will continue to move at warp speed if YOU don’t put the brakes on at sometime. You have allowed your life to take on a frantic pace and it is up to you to slow it down enough to catch your breath.
Pick a time of day when the least amount of traffic is going on. Whether it is first thing in the morning or right before you lay down for sleep. Take some deep breaths and feel the oxygen permeating your cells, relaxing you. Remind yourself that you deserve some peace in your life. Of course at first you will be running down a grocery list in your head. But keep at it! Like anything, relaxation can take practice, particularly if it has been a while. Remind yourself that your engine will run out of gas if you allow it to and give yourself a few minutes to unwind every day.
Read more about women’s health and wellness and other women’s issues on The Women’s Nest Women’s Forum!
Written by: Elizabeth Renter
Supporting The Troops
Supporting the Troops
War is a controversial subject. With our current president getting record low approval ratings,
Do you know someone fighting overseas? Or are you a member of our Nation’s Armed Forces? Come share your stories in the Women’s Forum where support is plentiful.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
The Gossip Disease
The Gossip Disease
We’re women. We gossip. When we’re talking about celebrities it’s one thing. When we are talking about each other, it’s a totally different ball game. Too often our workplace, social circle, or even our church becomes a place where gossip divides us. Gossip is a disease. If you’ve ever tried to stop, you would agree with me. For some reason, we allow rumors and secrets come between friendships and family relationships. If you are a victim of gossip you know how it feels to get carried away with a friend. You will be talking about “what you heard” and the conversation gets juicier and juicier before you are both bad mouthing people you either care about or have no business talking about. It can be hard to turn away a gossip queen, especially if you are guilty of it yourself!
Next time you are lured into a gossiping conversation, think about what would happen and how you would feel if the subject of your gossip was standing behind you listening. Better yet, think of a time when you found out people were spreading rumors about you. Don’t let gossip come between us ladies!
Come talk about real issues and healthy friendships in the Women’s Forum…Leave the toxic gossip at the door!
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Violent Crime - Is it Really on The Rise?
Just ask anyone who watches the news in this country and they will most likely tell you the same thing: Crime is getting out of control and rising quickly. If you get all of your information from the nightly news, you would probably think the same thing. But, guess what? You would be wrong. Of course, crime is worse now than it was in the 1950’s. Since then there has been a great population boom and the introduction of several new drugs to this country too, only making the crime that much more deadly.
But, according to the FBI’s Uniform Crime Report, violent crime in 2006 decreased a whopping 13.9% since 1997. That’s a lot! Surprising huh? Don’t get too comfy just yet. Hundreds of thousands of women are assaulted each year, most often by someone they know. Although rape and assault by strangers are rarer, they still happen. What do you do to stay safe in these times? Many of us could benefit from talking with our friends about the risks out there and sharing ideas and advice on how to keep safe. If you have something to share with other women, ways we can help each other keep safe; join us in the Women’s Forum.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Water Conservation What Can You Do?
Most women realize that water is a limited resource. We might even know that by wasting this precious liquid, we are getting ourselves closer and closer to a world with tough water restrictions and limited availability. But how many of us do things to conserve water? With horrible droughts plaguing the country, many Americans are forced to deal with water restrictions already and are looking at new ways to conserve.
Try hand washing dishes if you don’t have a full load. Keeping a sink full of hot soapy water to wash the occasional dish uses much less water than running the dishwasher. Use a brick or other item to displace water in your toilet tanks. Always make sure you are washing full loads of laundry and use things like towels multiple times before washing. Someone left a glass of water on the counter? Don’t dump it down the drain; use it on your plants or put it in the dog’s dish.
Think about ways you can preserve this most precious natural resource. Come and share your conservation tips and discuss other environmental issues with concerned women like you in the Women’s Forum.
Article Written by Elizabeth Renter
Women voters
Lately you may have noticed the term “women voters” gets thrown around on the news. It’s as if we (women voters) are all of the same mind set and vote predictably along the same lines. Like we have big meetings where we decide how we will overcome the man vote. Obviously I am over generalizing but I am pretty certain you have noticed it too. When the media assumes we will all vote one way because our favorite talk show host is endorsing a particular candidate or because we think a candidate is handsome, it makes us question how much credit we really get from the media.
Women's Friendship Tips
How to Be a Good Friend
You wouldn’t think an article with this title would be necessary for grown women. But, ask any grown woman and chances are she knows someone who would benefit on a whole friendship class!
1. Don’t consistently cancel plans– We all have a friend like this and we have all slowly had to get rid of friends like this. If something comes up that’s fine. But don’t make plans if you have no plans on sticking with them.
2. Listen–Yes, the men in our lives would certainly benefit from this one too, but women are guilty of tuning out as well! Don’t just be in the friendship because of what it does for you; lend your ear as well.
3. Be understanding – Many of us are friends with women who have different family or home situations. Some of us have a hard time making time while others have all the free time in the world. Don’t hold it against your friend that she has other priorities in her life.
4. Stick with it –As with most relationships, sometimes it would be easier to just give up. Those friendships that go the deepest, however, are those that go the distance!
We all have our own trials and tests in our friendships. Some of us have a handful of friends we couldn’t do without while others have one best friend who is like a sister. Regardless of how many you have, you can always have more. Come meet some more friends and grow your circle of sisterhood in the Women’s Forum!
Article written by Elizabeth Renter