Health and Wellness
We're all living longer - and that's a good thing. But since we are, we should also live an active, healthy lifestyle. The Women's Nest will continue to focus on bringing you good information that you can use effectively.
Click on bulleted items to read women's health related articles. .Then head over to the Women's Forum to discuss women's health, nutrition, fitness, relationships, and other women's issues with members like yourself!
Today's Hot Topics
Insomniacs Anonymous
About two thirds of American women have trouble sleeping. Whether it's due to stress, diet, lack of exercise, hormones, or other issues, it is a common and exhausing issue. We have a few easy ideas that might take the edge off of wakefulness for you!
Melatonin: This is a natural hormone that your body produces at night. Everyone is talking about it. The problem is that your body produces less of it as you get older. Bummer, right? Yes! Luckily, it is sold over the counter now, and determined to be a healthy alternative to other sleep aids. Taking 3mg at bedtime might just help you re-establish your sleep-wake cycle.
Camomile Tea - One cup before bed will soothe your body and your mind.
Exercise - 30 minutes of exercise will help your body rejuvenate, clear your mind, and also help you sleep better in the evenings.
Turn off the TV - Video screens of any sort stimulate your mind. Try reading in a dim room, or turn out your lights and read with a reading light. It is difficult to do so, which should make you sleepy and help ease you into a good night's sleep.
Cut out the caffeine - Caffeine comes in all shapes and sizes - From chocolate bars, to coffee, tea, and hot chocolate. Sodas, of course, are one of the worst carriers of caffeine! Cut out your caffeine by about 4pm each day. That may enable your body to naturally become tired.
Try these suggestions, but talk with your doctor first if you have any questions. Then join us in our women's forums to discuss women's health, marriage, and life in general. Isn't it time you gave yourself a break and chatted with a few friends? Join Here!
Meditation - Don't be Frightened of it!
Don’t Be Afraid of a Little Meditation
We are in a time where people meditate. College students, stay at home moms, busy professionals, and the elderly; everyone is meditating. However, there are a few of us that get a little apprehensive when someone suggests meditation. We still picture meditation as some sort of uncomfortable sitting position involving some chanting in a long forgotten language. True, some people do meditate this way. But you are wrong if you think that is all meditation is.
While some people meditate to reach a higher level of spirituality, many of us meditate to reflect and to allow our minds to slow down. Meditating can be done on the couch, in the bathtub, or sitting on the floor. Meditation can involve chanting, prayer, or simply a quiet mind. There isn’t a right or wrong way of meditating.
The benefits of meditation reach from the spiritual and mental to actually improving your health and physical well being. Join us for meditation on Sunday nights at 9pm EST or come talk about your meditation practices in the Women’s Forum.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Weight Loss Motivation
Motivation is definitely a weight loss buzz word. When someone has successfully lost weight we say things like “She’s so motivated!” “I wonder where she gets her motivation.” Much of the time, these weight loss success stories have a secret. Their secret: THEY’RE NOT MOTIVATED! Yes, that’s right, at least no more than you or I. The secret is that if they waited around to be motivated, they would’ve probably never lost the weight.
Successful weight loss happens when you don’t wait for your mind to decide it’s motivated, you just do it! The more you sit and think about the pounds you have to lose, the more likely you will grab a Big Mac and claim you are “unmotivated”. Stop thinking about it and go. You have to head out the door, lace up your sneakers, buy healthy foods, and make choices that line up with your goal before your mind has a chance to ruin it. In the beginning it is hard to ignore that unmotivated voice, but with time it gets easier.
Are you a weight loss success story with secrets to share? Are you simply feeling unmotivated and can’t get out of the rut? Come share your stories and get weight loss advice from women just like you in the Women’s Forum.
Article Written by Elizabeth Renter
Who Has Time to Exercise?
Every woman has used lack of time as an excuse to not exercise. It is probably the most-used excuse in the book. We all know that exercise is good for us. We imagine “they” are right when they tell us that it makes you feel good, reduces stress, aides weight loss, improves circulation, extends our lives, and all of that other good stuff. But so many of us resist it with everything we’ve got and we do our best to fill our days to capacity so we just don’t have time for exercise.
You have to make time for exercise. Shut off the TV an hour early. Don’t worry about washing up the breakfast dishes in the morning. Use your lunch break to get a walk in. We all have moments in our day when we consciously choose something else over exercise. Pay attention to your choices and you will find that you can make time for your health. Consider it a selfish act. Spoil yourself with some “me time”. You will come to enjoy exercise if you give your body the chance it deserves.
How do you find time to exercise? Do you need help scheduling some quality “me time”? Come chat with other women about their health concerns in the Women’s Nest Women’s Forum.
Article Written by Elizabeth Renter
Women's Health, Divorce Recovery: What is Your Favorite Color?
What is your Favorite Color?
Were you able to easily answer this question? Or did you have to take some time to think about it before you figured it out? Or maybe your answer was; I have no idea.
This seems like a pretty simple question to answer on the surface right? Not so if you have been in a long term relationship or a marriage. It is not uncommon for partners in a relationship to lose their own voice. This is even more common for the women in a relationship, as we often time set aside what is important to us as we focus on our mate and our children. I know this was the case for me and I often times found it hard to differentiate between my voice and theirs. I have to admit I made a pretty awesome chameleon in my day.
So what happens when that marriage or long term relationship ends? The answers to such simple questions as “What is your favorite color”, become more difficult. You are now forced to look inside yourself and find out what it is that makes you tick; that is if you want to be happy and content after your marriage or relationship ends.
How do you find out what makes you happy if you buried your dreams for the sake of your family/mate? Great question! The first step for me was to sit down and make a list of all the things that I wanted to do or have now that I was accountable to no one but me. That was easier said then done. Yes, I sat down, and pulled out my trusty journal and just stared at the blank page. I realized then that my future was a blank canvass, how intimidating or should I say terrifying. But I was up to the challenge and soon found that the more appropriate phrase was “how exciting”. My future was of my making, wow talk about empowerment!
I persevered and it was difficult, because my wants and needs were pushed so far down inside me that I had a hard time finding them. They slowly began to surface, however, once I put the idea out there. Being aware of my desire to be the true and authentic me allowed my daily focus to be on me. By doing this I was able to pay attention to those things around me that energized me.
For example, I never finished college because I got married and had my daughter. This dream of being a college graduate I found never truly died, so I put that on my list. How did I uncover this lost dream? Well, when I started on my journey toward rediscovering myself, I continually came across advertisements for the
Not all of the things on my list consisted of things that came from my past dreams. I began to notice new things that I would never have attempted to do when I was married, that I wanted to try and/or experience. How did I find these things? I began engaging in conversations with the people around me. One of my co-workers was a prime example. She was an avid skier and runner. I was impressed. So I started asking her questions. Her passion and enthusiasm for both sports really came through in her conversation. So I thought, why not give it a try. So I started to run and I attempted to ski. I found that I had a passion for running, but the skiing not so much. So I hung up my skis and married my running shoes.
You don’t have to wait for an end of a relationship to start rediscovering who you are and what you want from life. You too can take the time to make a list of the things you want to enjoy and experience. Don’t let the demands of your mate or children be the excuse for living in mediocrity. Start becoming the person you were put on this earth to be, starting today! Doesn’t the world deserve to experience the greatness of you?
I still continue today to look for things to add to my list. Prior to this journey, I dreaded the beginning of each new day, now I embrace each new day with joy and excitement, open to finding something new and exciting to add to my list of things to experience. One thing that I can assure you of, there are two things that will never be on my list they are parachuting and mountain climbing. But, maybe you want to add those to your list. You won’t know until you get started.
Next year will come regardless, what do you want to have experienced when it does? I encourage you to purchase that journal and start making your list today.
If you need help uncovering those buried dreams I encourage you to hire a coach today. Sign up for a 30 minute Reclaim your Personal Power thru your Divorce Recovery Coaching Session or for more tools to help you rediscover what makes you tick download the “Getting Reacquainted with You” e-book.
Article written by Lisa Fredette
To connect with Lisa, learn about Life Coaching and Divorce Recovery, or gain other self-help, click HERE.
Women's Health: Cultivating Bliss in Your Pit of Darkness
CULTIVATING BLISS IN YOUR PIT OF DARKNESS by Martha Trowbridge
Within the life-worn woman, there spreads a pit so black, so wide, so bottomless, so emptied of all that is meaningful or connective, that one by one, every cell within her darkens.
Depression has seized her Spirit.
Bravery has no merit. Entertainment, distraction, dreaming, all are futile. You feel like the living dead.
Despite your efforts, the pit within you becomes impossible to conceal. Soon, your inside slumps out. All that was dear to you feels spilled into a void and forever lost.
In your Inner Universe, light no longer shines. No amount of persuasion, or force, can pull you out of your Pit Of Darkness. If hell exists, surely it dwells within your agonized self.
Through depression’s painful agony, your Spirit’s life-alarm has reached a not-to-be-silenced pitch. Although your depression feels like your very worst enemy, and suffer unspeakably you do, she is your Spirit’s fiercest ally. She has come to speak to you. Her words are vital.
Her visit is odd therapy: an irascible, painful, prodding demand that you restructure your life, root out ills, and plant in their place profound self-love and absolute self-respect. In short, she wants you to create for your Spirit the environs and support She deserves -- and sorely needs.
********
Every Pit Of Darkness is custom-made.
Your personal Pit Of Darkness is furnished with feelings and memories designed to torment you. It is wired with sounds to alarm you. It is programmed with your most harsh, critical, terrifying inner voices.
The walls -- if, through the darkness, you can find them -- are iced and slippery, yet studded with gashing thorns. Your Pit has no bottom. You cannot grasp the ridge at its top.
From your Pit, no one can hear you scream.
Time has no meaning there. Self has no importance. Power, money, connections -- no thing or person, no matter how well intentioned, can foreshorten your stay.
The only way 'out' is through bliss.
What is bliss? The Encarta World Dictionary describes it as perfect, untroubled happiness ... a state of spiritual joy. Encarta's other words for bliss: ecstasy, heaven, paradise, delight.
Every woman's Spirit, be she depressed, elated, or somewhere in between, regularly requires bliss. Yet, if you are depressed, experiencing bliss seems 'impossible'. This utter lack of joy in their lives is for many women the most devastating aspect of their depression.
The ability to cultivate and sustain bliss in your Pit Of Darkness is essential. Bliss is your Spirit's fortifier, its means of resuscitation, the inner fuel you use to propel your Spirit up from -- and forever out of -- your Pit Of Darkness. [1]
Yet, feeling and thinking as you do, how on earth can you possibly experience bliss?
Bliss resides in every genuine self-love overture you make.
In your quest for the healing, restorative and sustaining powers of bliss, your self-love overtures can focus upon your feelings, your thinking, and/or your behavior -- it does not matter. What matters is your intention: you must come to your Spirit's aid with wholehearted resolve to now -- and forever -- approach your Spirit with overtures of genuine self-love.
So. Where to begin? You begin with this awareness:
Every woman's Pit Of Darkness
is custom-designed
to showcase the Inner Universe reconstruction needs
of its inhabitant.
Meaning: your particular stressors [fears, failings, losses, worries, shame, traumas, grief, and so on] and the havoc they wreak on your Spirit specifically point to the reconstructive work required in your Sacred Inner Universe.
********
Every Pit Of Darkness can be custom-transformed.
The transformation occurs via genuine self-love overtures. Overtures which, with dedication and practice, yield your suffering Spirit the bliss it so sorely lacks. [Two contemplations follow this article. Their techniques are designed to help you activate your bliss.]
The wondrous energy of bliss transmutes merciless self-criticism into wholehearted self-embrace. Blessedly, it prompts your turning toward yourself -- perhaps for the first time ever -- with a genuine loving eye, a kind eye, a thoroughly self-supportive eye. Bliss creates in you profound satisfaction. Peace. Assurance. When your Spirit dwells in an Inner Universe imbued with bliss, the shortcomings, failings, wounds and worries of your life cease to occupy a position of authority. Yes, they may be 'there', but they become relegated to their appropriate position: lowly subordinates to the magnificent, reigning power of bliss.
If you are deeply depressed, your initial attempts at cultivating bliss will likely produce little. This is to be expected. Think of it this way: your Spirit needs coaxing, to 'come back'. She needs to trust that you are now committed to its caretaking. She needs to be assured that from this moment on, you have made a solemn promise to genuinely, wholeheartedly, and faithfully practice self-love.
As you conduct your bliss-work, you must trust that with dedicated self-love overtures, bliss can be yours. You must trust that bliss is 'there', within you, even if you cannot sense it. With every failed attempt to access your bliss, you must infallibly believe, that when the moment is right, your bliss will begin to manifest.
You must not grow impatient, or frustrated, as you conduct your bliss-work. Instead, you must quietly and wholeheartedly surrender your weary Spirit to the glorious, transformative, phenomenal process of genuine self-love.
&&&&&&&&
At last, the amazing moment manifests.
Up from a place so profoundly deep within you, you do not recognize it, bliss emerges.
At first, it may feel like a spark. It may come, and go, like the quick light of a firefly. That may be all you feel.
Rejoice! Your Pit Of Darkness has been visited by bliss. It happened. Your Spirit felt bliss! As you continue your genuine self-love overtures, you will feel bliss again. More intensely. For longer periods of time.
Liken your spark of bliss to a tiny coal in a woodstove. Carefully, stubbornly encircle it. Protect it. Nurture its burning. Add to its life, by assembling around it thoughts, memories and wishes that evoke in you joyous energy. As you fall asleep each night, remind your self: today I was able to feel bliss! Delight in this fact, even if your bliss was only for a moment -- it is proof you can once again experience bliss!
With faithful self-love, you will.
Remember: as you cultivate your bliss with continued overtures of genuine self-love, longer and more intensely, your bliss-sparks will stay lit. Soon they will aggregate into a 'fire' that ever-burns within you.
Trust that the tiniest spark -- oh so delightful, and determined -- lies within you, at this very moment. [2] Imagine it, there, burning. Imagine your bliss, within you!!! Soon, there will be another spark. Then another.
Though, for now, you remain 'trapped' in your Pit Of Darkness, continue to draw in tiny sparks of bliss, and make them yours. Ferociously, defend them against attack. Against efforts by others to extinguish their precious energies. They are yours -- wonderfully warm, revitalizing feelings for you to wholly love and cherish. Feelings that prove: with work, you can be joyous once again -- or, for the very first time.
As you read this article, you are a witness: my bliss-sparks have aggregated into a wondrous ever-burning flame, lighting, warming, energizing me. Strengthening me. Empowering me to happily step back into the shoes of The Woman I Was Born To Be.
If today, you can identify a tiny bit of bliss within you, from it evoke the hope of joy, tomorrow. Then tomorrow, perhaps, you can cultivate another tiny bit of bliss. And so on. With ongoing dedication, some day, your entire precious Spirit, triumphant in self-love, will resonate with bliss.
Conscious cultivation of bliss is something most women were never taught to do. As we prepare to gloriously Rebirth out of our Pit Of Darkness into The Women We Were Born To Be, cultivating bliss is our most important task.
Reflection: When you are up to it, in a quiet private place, begin to list the 'self-beliefs' you have, as you suffer depression. It likely will take several visits within you to compile your self-belief profile. As you reflect and write, do not judge or condemn your self -- just report. When you sense that all has been recorded, place this paper in a private place and let it be.
As You Prepare To Rebirth: Without consulting your self-belief profile, which one of your negative self-beliefs would you like to begin to correct? [It may be helpful to start with the smallest of your negative self--beliefs.] Once you have chosen a self-belief to work at, imagine you are another woman, a wise, wonderful, trustworthy woman, looking at yourself. What in your life-history can she see, that identifies the root of this painful belief? What small 'correcting' observation -- based upon an event in your life-history -- can she suggest you embrace?
Now, close your eyes. Gently pushing aside any intrusive painful thoughts and feelings, once again be that other woman. Imagine she is looking at your earliest days. Focus. Can she identify one moment, when you were a child or young girl, in which you displayed the OPPOSITE of your current painful self-belief? Think. Think of that long-ago time. Stay very quiet. Breathe deeply. Breathe gently. Aaaah. There it is: the recognition of a moment in your life, in which the horrible negative false self-belief that now controls you, simply did not exist. Savor this moment, in which you were the opposite of what you now feel you are. Recall the reality of your strength. [Please note that you likely will not feel this reality yet. But you can think about it.] In your Spirit, scan for a tiny spark of bliss.
If you have the time and energy, recall another specific situation in which you displayed this strength. Do not expect to 'feel' your strength in your current state of Spirit -- you may not yet be ready.
If, at this time, you are unable to generate a spark of bliss, so be it. Do not despair. When you are up to it, try this exercise again, perhaps in a different setting, or at a different time of day. If you find yourself feeling stuck, try working at a different false self-belief. Your Spirit may so devastated, it needs additional coaxing to trust again. Assure Her that you are now prepared -- and committed -- to tend to Her wellbeing.
As you practice genuine self-love overtures, and continue with your reflections, bliss -- even if in tiny sparks -- will begin to inhabit your Pit Of Darkness. Once it does, you'll have commenced your glorious Rebirth into The Woman You Were Born To Be.
NOTES
1. Actually, as you emerge, your self-love overtures work to 'fill' your Pit with wondrous energies, neutralizing and replacing its snarling negative energies, so that in time your Pit's existence is merely a unpleasant memory.
2. How do I know this? I know this by the simple fact that you come to these words, seeking.
Women's Health: Havoc Wreaking Hormones
When we were teens, our hormones played all sorts of games with our bodies and our brains - and often, we loved it! Let's face it, raging hormones played a key role in our s*xuality, confidence, or lack there of, even our hair and nails benefited from our lovely changing body chemicals!
As we age, however, sometimes hormonal changes are not so fun to deal with. C'mon, ladies, you know what I'm talking about. In your 30's you might be fighting PMS-induced fatigue. Many of us reach for sugary treats to give ourselves a boost. Try reaching for the trail mix instead, and adding a few chocolate chips to make it sweet. The protein and carbs will even out your blood sugar and not steal your energy.
Bloating? Try vitamin B6. It acts as a mild diuretic, making you pee more - a good thing when you're retaining water.
Women like me (Thinkhappy), in our 40's and 6-10 years before menopoause, a woman's hormone cycle starts to lose its bearings - there's no rhyme or reason to the changes going on in our bodies! Regular exercise releases "happy hormones," or endorphins, that make us feel good all over, and not so moody.
Dry skin? Eat more Omega3 fatty acids. Think fish - salmon and tuna - oily fish.
In your 50's? Now's the time of your life! Breathe deep for 20 minutes 3x each week to help you combat hot flashes.
Sleep better with socks on your feet - it helps combat night sweats (believe it or not!).
Better s*x! Oh yes! Often times loss of libido is due to lower levels of testosterone and estrogen levels - ask your doctor for a blood test to check hormone levels. She may recommend a compounded testosterone cream.
Life is good - live it to the fullest at every age! And always remember....Think happy!
Women's Health: America's Worst Breakfast Foods
America's Worst Breakfast Foods
It’s hard to overestimate the importance of eating breakfast. Studies show that people who take time for a morning meal consume fewer calories over the course of the day, have stronger cognitive skills, and are 30 percent less likely to be overweight or obese. Beyond that, people who skip breakfast are more likely to drink alcohol and smoke, and they’re less likely to exercise.
But just because breakfast is the most important meal of the day doesn’t grant you permission to go into a feeding frenzy. But that’s exactly what many of the country’s most popular breakfast joints are setting you up for, by peddling fatty scrambles, misguided muffins, and pancakes that look like manhole covers.
These foods are loaded with unhealthy fats, added sugars, and refined carbohydrates, which catapult your blood sugar, sap your energy levels, and tell your body to store fat.
To help you avoid the morning mishaps, we searched out the good, the bad, and the greasy, and uncovered some of the worst breakfast foods in America. We’ve presented a sampling of the worst offenders below. It’s like a lineup down at the local police station, except in this case, they’re all guilty as charged.
Worst Side Dish
Burger King Hash Browns (large)
620 calories
40 g fat (11 g saturated; 13 g trans)
1,200 mg sodium
60 g carbs
Yes, you’re ingesting more than a meal’s worth of calories from a side dish, but the real cause for concern here is that these little potato cakes pack seven times more trans fats than you’re supposed to eat all day! Until BK learns to cut out the partially hydrogenated oils, avoid encounters with potatoes of any kind at that fatty food joint.
Eat This Instead!
Burger King Egg & Cheese Croissan’wich
300 calories
17 g fat (6 g saturated; 2 g trans)
740 mg sodium
26 g carbs
Worst Breakfast Sandwich
Hardee’s Monster Biscuit
710 calories
51 g fat (17 g saturated)
2,250 mg sodium
37 g carbohydrates
When they say “Monster,” they mean it. This 700-calorie behemoth should be enough to scare anyone: It contains nearly a full day’s worth of sodium and saturated fat. Instead try the Sunrise Croissant with Bacon. It’s not exactly diet-friendly, but if you’re stuck at Hardee’s, it’s a way to escape without too much damage.
Eat This Instead!
Hardee’s Sunrise Croissant with Bacon
450 calories
29 g fat (12 g saturated)
900 mg sodium
28 g carbs
Worst Kids Meal
Denny’s Big Dipper French Toastix with margarine and syrup
770 calories
71 g fat (13 g saturated)
107 g carbs
As important as it is for mom and dad to eat a good breakfast each morning, it’s even more critical that their kids do. After all, breakfast affects their energy levels, metabolism, and performance in school. Better think twice before feeding them these dubious little sticks. For more healthy kids’ choices, check out Eat This, Not That! for Kids.
Eat This Instead!
Kid’s D-Zone Smiley Alien Hotcakes
340 calories
12 g fat (5 g saturated)
49 g carbs
Worst Pastry
Cinnabon Classic Cinnamon Roll
813 calories
32 g fat (5 g trans fat)
117 g carbs
You wouldn’t start your day with three brownies, would you? As far as your body knows, that’s exactly what you’ll be doing if you wake up with this cinnamon-swirled disaster area. In fact, because Cinnabon offers no healthy alternatives, you’ll have to invite friends (or enemies?) to share the risky roll, or steer clear of Cinnabon altogether.
Worst Smoothie
Smoothie King Grape Expectations II (40 oz.)
1,102 calories
256 g sugars
740 mg sodium
Why Smoothie King would even offer a 40 oz. serving size is beyond us. With more than half the calories you need in a day and the sugar equivalent of 12 Haagen Dasz ice cream bars, this “drink” should be renamed "diabetes in a glass." Just goes to show you the importance of drinking responsibly.
Drink This Instead!
Smoothie King Low Carb Strawberry Smoothie (20 oz.)
268 calories
3 g sugars
176 mg sodium
Worst Combo Meal
McDonald’s Deluxe Breakfast
1,360 calories
64 g fat (22 g saturated)
2,325 mg sodium
160 g carbs
49 g sugars
With four vehicles for refined carbohydrates (biscuit, hash browns, hotcakes, syrup), this “deluxe” disaster will send your blood sugar soaring. Why blow nearly an entire day’s calories under the arches, when a perfectly satisfying Egg McMuffin will save you more than 1,000 calories?
Eat This Instead!
McDonald’s Egg McMuffin with coffee
310 calories
12 g fat (5 g saturated)
820 mg sodium
30 g carbs
3 g sugars
Worst Omelet
IHOP Big Steak Omelet
1,490 calories
(No additional nutrition information available)
IHOP doesn’t provide nutritional information aside from calorie counts, but with a boatload of steak, a bucket of cheese, and handfuls of hash browns, this omelet’s fat and sodium numbers are surely just as appalling.
Eat This Instead!
IHOP For Me Garden Scramble
440 calories
The Worst Breakfast in America
Bob Evans Stacked and Stuffed Caramel Banana Pecan Hotcakes
1,543 calories
77 g fat (26 g saturated; 9 g trans)
2,259 mg sodium
198 g carbs
109 g sugars
It’s not a good sign when it takes you nearly five seconds to spit out the name of your breakfast. This bad boy packs in more than 75 percent of your calories for the day, along with more sugar and fat than nine glazed Dunkin’ Donuts, and nearly as much sodium as five Bloody Marys.
Eat This Instead!
3 Scrambled Egg Beaters with 2 slices of bacon and fresh fruit
314 calories
19.5 g fat (5 g saturated)
700 mg sodium
21 g carbs
18 g sugars
To steer clear of the quickest way to pack on pounds — by sipping them through a straw — check out the 20 Unhealthiest Drinks in America.
And see how all of these restaurants (and 34 others of your favorites!) stack up nutritionally by checking out our definitive Restaurant Report Card.
Have your own big offenders — and secrets for protecting your waistline? Share them with the rest of us here.
Source: Men's Heatlh
Women's Health: Body Confidence and Women
Do you catch yourself checking the mirror far too often? Or are you afraid to look into it when you walk by? Do you quickly wrap up in your towel when exiting the shower- more to hide from yourself than anyone else? Don’t feel like you’re alone. Most women have experienced or are currently experiencing problems with their body confidence.
We are bombarded with images telling us what we should look like and then wonder why we can’t love ourselves the way we are. As women we need to recognize where our true beauty comes from. Our beauty comes from deep within and permeates our skin. If we recognize the beauty within ourselves, it is visible to everyone who sees us.
We are the nurturers of our human race. We are the mothers and protectors. We are beautiful! Come celebrate the beauty of being a woman in the Women’s Forum.
Article written by Elizabeth Renter
Women's Health: Digestion Cleanse!
Do you wake up feeling sluggish and simply not looking forward to the morning? Sip room-temperature water with some fresh lemon juice first thing in the morning! This tasty concoction stimulates digestion and helps flush toxins from your body! Aaahh..
Rejuvenate with us - You'll gain more than just helpful health tips - We're a community of wonderful women - Share stories, gain support, advice, and friendship! Joining is free and easy - just Click Here! and then click the New Account tab!
Women's Health: Forgiveness - Is it really that important?
Forgiveness – Is it really that important?
Are you able to forgive others for their infractions against you? Are you able to forgive yourself for past mistakes? Do you find it is easier to forgive others than it is to forgive yourself?
Maybe your inability to forgive yourself and others is because of your definition of forgiveness. What definition do you use for forgiveness? Is it the belief that by forgiving someone you let them off the hook? Do you believe that to forgive is saying that what happened was okay? If that is the case, no wonder you are having such a hard time forgiving.
Let’s take a look at a different definition of forgiveness. Forgiveness is accepting the fact that you can not change the past. Isn’t it easier to find forgiveness now? Another way to look at forgiveness is through the concept of control. If you are unable to forgive others then you are harboring feelings of bitterness, anger and guilt, which in turn effects how you experience each day. These feelings cloud how you deal with others and experience life. As a result the person you are unable to forgive is controlling your life. Wouldn’t you rather take back your control? Wouldn’t you rather experience the beauty of each day? Take the first step and begin to forgive those who have hurt you, including yourself.
I know it is easier to say then it is to do. To help you get started let’s take a look at the different stages of forgiveness. In most cases there are four stages to the forgiveness process; 1) denial, 2) anger, 3) acceptance and 4) compassion.
Denial is pretty similar to blowing the issue off. When you are in denial you are quick to forgive and move on. However, the truth is that you never truly moved past what happened you are just pretending it didn’t happen. That may work for a while but sooner or later the unresolved issue will show up again. One way it might show up is through anger. You may begin to experience inappropriate levels of anger and anger in unrelated areas of your life for no apparent reason. The reason is the unforgiven issue; you just haven’t realized it yet. The key to getting through this stage is awareness; listening to your language and behavior and see if it is justified or is it rooted in unforgiveness.
Anger is the next step. This is where many of us stay stuck. This is when unforgiveness becomes an excuse to live in mediocrity. This is the stage when you hear a lot of “I would be happy only if this hadn’t happened” or “I can not succeed because such and such happened”. If you don’t work through this stage of forgiveness you begin to spiral into self-pity; which turns into “why me” and “life is so unfair”. Venting your anger is key to getting past this stage. Some healthy ways of releasing your anger is through anger letters, venting partners and physical outlet.
If you are able to move past the denial and the anger you will begin to accept what happened. Realizing that whatever it was that went wrong is reality and no matter how hard you try to “wish” it away it still is. When you are able to accept you stop blaming and start taking back control over your life. You are more than halfway to forgiveness at this stage. The key element in moving through acceptance is forgiveness letters.
The final stage is compassion. This is the hardest stage to get to and many are unable or unwilling. Getting to this stage is a truly freeing experience and everyone should strive for it, it is worth all the pain to get to this point. Compassion is the ability to see the event from the other person’s perspective. You are basically able to put yourself in their shoes and see where that person was at the time of the event. Being able to get to this stage is empowering and you are finally able to take back total control over your life. Make an effort to get here; you will be glad you did. A tool that you can use for finding compassion for you or for others is by writing thank you letters. This allows you to see the good in the experience and gain insight to what you learned and gained from the event. I am a strong believer that you can grow and learn from any experience even if it is a bad one.
Make the commitment today to begin to find forgiveness in your life. Take the first step by making a list of all of those people you are unwilling to forgive and begin working through the forgiveness process. Before you know it you will be taking back the control of your life.
Article written by Lisa Fredette
Women's Health: From Bitter Grief to Tears of Joy
From Bitter Grief, To Tears Of Joy
Copyright 2008 Martha Trowbridge
Depression's tears erupt from grief -- the overwhelming grief we experience when our lives feel shattered. In many aspects, this grief is similar to grief we feel when a loved one dies. With depression's grief, however, our pain is far more profound: for we are grieving the 'loss' -- the 'death' even -- of our very self!
How bitter are our tears! How utterly, painfully exhausting. And though the prospect of crying is the last notion you want to entertain, consider this: your tears not only have purpose [1], they carry with them the power to be transformative.
Here is the magic key: each time you cry, with all your heart, heed why your Spirit is weeping. Step back, and ask your self: What genuine self-love overture can I make, at this very moment, to show my Spirit I am committed to healing and protecting Her?
Conduct your WingsWork [2] faithfully, and astonishingly, the tears that emerge from your Spirit will shift from bitter tears of grief, to wondrous Tears of Joy.
Tears Of Joy are quite the phenomenon! As they well up within you, at first, you may wonder what you are feeling. How can it be, that the tears that stream from you are 'feel-good' tears?! Yet, there they are. Blessed Tears, manifesting that you are reconnected to the goodness of The Universe. Relieving tears. Tears that celebrate your surges of good feeling, and hope. Tears that assure you that your efforts to reconstruct your Sacred Inner Universe are effective.
Tears that flow as the purity, goodness, energy and excitement of your new life as The Woman You Were Born To Be begin to pulse within you.
Once activated, Tears Of Joy can be as irrepressible as bitter tears. I recall how [happily] embarrassed I felt, constantly weeping at acts of goodness, beauty, kindness, and love. Watching romantic or wholesome movies became quite an event! Ooodles of moist tissue collected in my lap. How puzzled were my dogs and cats! How could Mom be so happy, and be crying? :-)
As you progress in your WingsWork, your Tears Of Joy will regulate. Trust this. In the meantime, enjoy them. Marvel at them. Let them be a source of self-humor. For once your Tears Of Joy pathway opens, a marvelous, monumental transformation within you commences: Negative Emotion, long pent up, will be purged from your Spirit by your Tears Of Joy.
Tears of Joy open up and cleanse traumatized Sacred Inner Space [3]. As this precious Inner Space clears -- and only when it does -- your Spirit can once again accommodate the positive, joyous, blessed and beautiful in life. Imagine: the tears that flow from your heart, flow with delight. How lovely this will be!
Like a pristine, vibrant, utterly soothing mountain stream, Tears Of Joy refresh your Spirit. With one wondrous act of genuine self-love, right now, at this very moment, commence the transformation of your bitter tears of grief, into wondrous, sacred, precious Tears Of Joy.
NOTES
1. Tears cleanse, relieve stress, bring your consciousness to full awareness of the seriousness of your situation, and command that you stop avoiding and start paying genuine loving attention to your self -- if only to stop your tears!
2. WingsWork: The inner work by which you gloriously Rebirth into The Woman You Were Born To Be. This transformation is accomplished by faithfully practicing genuine self-love.
3. Not only do memories of the overwhelming painful emotions and experiences leading to your depression 'fill' your Inner Space, depression, by its very nature, continually feeds your Spirit toxins. It is as if an emotional waste plant were continually streaming refuse into your veins. Using Tears Of Joy to flush out your aching Sacred Inner Space -- even if only a bit at a time -- permits your Spirit the opportunity to fully and freely feel good things, pure things, hope-filled things; all of which infuse and gloriously revitalize your Spirit.
Women's Health: Perfecting Your Happiness
Perfecting Your Happiness
by
Martha Trowbridge,
Copyright 2008 Martha Trowbridge
Dr. Michael Eigen, Damaged Bonds
If you could peer inside the hearts of women everywhere, you may be surprised -- and a bit saddened -- to discover the disconnect many of us feel between our life-experiences, and the **HAPPINESS** that seems to be 'out there'. How anxious we are to find happiness! How desperate. Each day, millions of women spend tens of millions of dollars in frazzled pursuit of happiness, fervently hoping that this time, our happy feeling will persist long after our purchase, or dinner-date, or vacation -- and not lost with the light at sundown, or vaporized with the rise of the next day's sun.
What is happiness? From whence does sustained happiness come? Sustained, the operative word. For fleeting moments of happiness can feel more cruel than none at all. They leave us wondering: What happened? Where did those moments go? Why was I unable to hold on to my happiness? Worst of all, we worry: Will sustained happiness always elude me?
Pleasure, contentment, joy -- these and other terms describe happiness. How do we prime our selves to experience these feelings, in ways that genuinely, thoroughly satisfy us? For some women, the indignities, failures and traumas of our lives may have us feeling too damaged to achieve sustained, authentic happiness. What binds others is grief at a life lived 'less than' our dreams, our imaginings of what our lives would be.
Yet happiness -- and the ability to thoroughly and repeatedly experience it -- is not a function of what we have acquired, or accomplished.
Your happiness -- its intensity, vibrancy, sustainability and authenticity -- is determined by the state of your Sacred Inner Universe. The vast reality within you that is timeless, transcendent, limitless -- and astonishingly accessible!
If happiness is your goal, re-constructing your Inner Universe is the most important activity in which you can engage -- for this is where your Spirit dwells
Genuine happiness really does begin within. Think back to the times when you've felt best; did these feelings not emanate 'outward' from within you??
One of my intellectual heroes, Dr. Michael Eigen, states: "Primary emotional reality is orgasmic ecstasy." It's true. My litter of kitties confirm this. So does every innocent, every creature who does not writhe within the tortures of her sufferings.
Yes, suffer we all have. So how can we achieve "orgasmic ecstasy"? Or at least, our fair share of happiness?
Although you may expect that I will now assign a checklist of things to do, in order to find your happiness, I will not.
Instead, I instruct you to do one thing: commit to honor, respect and heed your sacred Spirit -- Who, if you pause and truly listen, will speak to you as you seek happiness, and tell you what to do.
Sustained, authentic happiness requires radical re-orientation. It necessitates your having a trusting relationship with your sacred Spirit. It involves serious attention, determination, devotion and open-heartedness, even when you are fearful. In a word, it demands faith: in your Spirit, and in the process.
And it means work. Hard work.
Yet oh what work it is! Clearing debris from your mind, polishing your heart til it shines, planting within you a landscape of breathtaking beauty, fragrance, and quietude.
And then: the utter joy of constructing for your Spirit a lovely home within you. A
If happiness is what you yearn for, this very moment, turn your gaze inward, and open your heart to your Spirit. By this act, this very moment, you begin to fashion your self into The Woman You Were Born To Be. The woman you would be right now, had your life been free of its woes. A scintillating woman -- profoundly empowered, immensely satisfied, divinely serene. An 'enviable' woman -- one who authentically loves her self, through and through.
A woman who is HAPPY.
Though this transformation may seem huge and unlikely to be accomplished, the process is quite simple. As is the principal tool: imagination.
Imagine that within you exists a vast Inner Universe, a private Inner Universe, a sacred Inner Universe. [Surprise: It really does!]
Now imagine your Spirit dwelling there. What does She see? What does She feel?
What does She wish for, oh so dearly?
Respecting your Spirit commences with acknowledging Her vital presence within you. Listen to Her. Defer to Her judgment. Indulge Her. Make it your solemn promise that every day, you will do your very best to fill whatever needs She expresses.
A properly re-ordered, re-constructed Inner Universe optimizes your opportunities for happiness. When, with every breath, you accept, protect, nurture, embrace, extend, develop and celebrate your Spirit, your entire life acquires a glorious radiance -- and no longer will you have to 'seek' happiness. For happiness will dwell within you.
Your Spirit knows precisely who you are, what you have endured, and what you now need. She is the sacred Eternal within you. At this very moment, your Spirit speaks. Hearken! In Her gracious hands are precious keys -- the keys to your perfect happiness.
*****************************************************************
Co-host of the e-radio show "Happiness For Women Only", Martha Trowbridge's second book, Wings Of Self-Love: Inspiration For Shattered Women will be published in September.
SIDEBARS:
I. The ENCARTA WORLD DICTIONARY definition of 'happy'
HAPPY: Feeling or showing pleasure, contentment, or joy; causing or characterized by pleasure contentment, or joy; feeling satisfied that something is right or has been done right.
II. Martha Trowbridge on 'Spirit'
The totality of human metaphysical experience, including mind [consciousness and the unconscious]; soul [the limitless in time and space -- the aspect of human existence that interconnects with the Divine]; and self [the human definitive principle -- the 'You'].
Women's Health: Seven Steps to Rebuiding Your Self-Esteem after Divorce
7 Steps to Rebuilding your Self-Esteem after Divorce
The answer to that question is easy – you choose to change. Okay, so the answer may be easy but the implementation may not be so easy, right?
You may assume that the most common approach may be to look at why you are suffering from such low self-esteem, but I beg to differ. The truth is that you do suffer from low self-esteem – how you got to this point is not relevant because it has already happened – can’t change that fact. All you can do is start from where you are now and decide where you want to go, so let’s get started.
Here are seven steps to help you rebuild your self-esteem
1. Surround yourself with positive people: negative people drag the people around them down and positive people motivate others to come up to their level of enthusiasm. So take a look at the people in your life – are they positive? If they are not positive people I recommend limiting or eliminating your association with these people as they will keep you stuck. Go in search for people who are positive and are living the life they love and surround yourself with them.
2. Take Risks: try something new, step outside of your comfort zone. Once you realize that you can succeed at whatever you try you will start to believe that you are good enough. If you can’t do it alone find a support buddy to try something new with or at least have them hold you accountable so you follow through when you start feeling uncomfortable.
3. Keep an Acknowledgement Journal: take the time to appreciate yourself and all that you do and contribute to the world. Begin writing down at least five things that you acknowledge yourself for doing each day, you will be amazed how wonderful you are – you just never took the time to look.
4. Make a commitment to change: you can choose to feel good or you can choose to feel bad about yourself and your life. What do you choose? Make the commitment to change your thinking today. Start appreciating what is right in the world and in your life and change the things that you don’t like or don’t want – stop being the victim and start taking action.
5. Change your Negative Self Talk: you know that voice in your head that tells you that you screwed up, that you’re not good enough or you’re stupid? Start telling that voice to shut up and start listening to the positive self talk. I challenge you to pay close attention to what you are telling yourself in any given situation; if it is negative find a way to turn it around into something positive. You learned how to talk negatively to yourself now teach yourself how to talk positively. Believe it or not it is a choice – will you live your life in negativity or will you shine in the light of positiveness?
6. Ask for support: if you find that you just can’t make these changes on your own, but are committed to change then ask others for support. Find a coach, minister or support group to help you learn to appreciate yourself for all your greatness and leave that negative self-esteem behind.
7. Take Action: start to get moving, whether you start walking, running, going to the gym or work out at home – just do something. Physical activity is a great way to make you feel better both physically and emotionally. Make the commitment to get moving today and before you know it you will see your self-esteem skyrocket and you may even be able to fit into your skinny jeans again, who knows. Wouldn’t hurt to find out, now would it?
If you are motivated to turn that self-esteem around and start living your life in a positive light then contact Lisa Fredette for a 30 minute Reclaim your Personal Power thru your Divorce Recovery Coaching Session today!
Article written by Lisa Fredette
To connect with Lisa, learn about Life Coaching and Divorce Recovery, or gain other self-help, click HERE
Women's Health: Sleep With The Angels!
Copyright 2008 Martha Trowbridge
“Sleep With The Angels!”
by Martha Trowbridge
When I was a child, “Sleep with the Angels!” was my mother’s evening-tide farewell. At the time, these words meant nothing. As far as I could determine, Angels were just another figment of the Christian imagination. Besides, why would I want to sleep with Angels? From what I’d been taught, they lived in heaven, which meant, if I were to sleep with them, I’d have to be dead!
Then trauma [1] took control of me. And the only thing farther from my reality than Angels was my ability to sleep.
The cruelest aspect of trauma and depression is that we cannot access restful sleep.
With trauma, our agitation is intense. If it isn’t nightmares torturing us, it’s our profound inability to relax. Or the fact that every sound amplifies into a red-alert signal, evoking in our already weary bodies painful, over-vigilant arousal. Or that seemingly without provocation, terrifying memories ambush us.
With depression, conversely, our state of Spirit is often near-death. Grief, swamping sadness, a sense of utter failure, despair, shame, heartbreak and other acutely painful negative thoughts, memories and feelings prevent us from sleeping peacefully.
Traumatic depression is the horrible Spirit thrashing of both these phenomena -- depression and trauma -- simultaneously.
Regardless of the nature of our sufferings, painful intrusions upon our weary Spirit make the prospect of going to sleep terrifying. How we fear another endless night, in which rather than being revitalized, we grow even more exhausted!
Where can we turn?
One trustworthy source is your Spirit Helpers. Spirit Helpers are any and all energies, experiences and entities [such as Angels] who assist your Spirit, especially when She is in grave need. Kindness, patience, purity, gentleness, caring, goodness, and sublime strength are their hallmarks. Experience your Spirit Helpers' awesome assistance, and you will be forever transformed.
If I may share a personal encounter.......
One fallout of my trauma was that I stopped driving. And the longer I didn’t drive, the more fearful of driving I became.
After years away from the wheel, at last I got the courage to try to drive again. It was a real test: I now lived in the country, with five miles of dirt road to travel til pavement. I was miles and miles from everything -- totally opposite to my forty-plus years of city life.
Then, one summer day, enroute back from the Capitol, twenty miles from my home, a severe electrical storm with torrential flooding rains struck. At this point, I was comfortable driving only in sunshine, on low-traffic country roads. But there I was, on the busy interstate, fourteen-wheelers and arrogant SUV drivers sweeping all about me, as in the right lane I traveled at 40 mph.
Today, I can chuckle about it, recalling the scene: angry drivers tail-gating and blasting their horns as they sped past me. But it wasn’t funny then. What to do? With the dim visibility, pulling off the road would probably be dangerous. Panicking would be even more dangerous.
Thankfully, just the day before I’d been thinking of writing about Angels in a column. I was also thinking of my recently departed Mother, who over and over had urged me to get back to driving, so as not to be dependent on my husband, as she -- who never drove -- had always been on hers.
Immersed in the storm's fury, attempting to keep calm, I did what my Mother would have suggested: I called on Angels to surround my car with their white light and graceful, protective Energy.
And lo and behold, within a moment, I actually felt them fluttering within and around my car! Through the violent storm, safely, they ushered me. It was as if I no longer had to operate my vehicle. It was strange and awesome and glorious. Not only did I travel peacefully all the way home, I had an experience I will never forget.
That night, this Angel-encounter helped me in yet another powerful way: for the first time in more than a decade, my sleep was oh so wonderful, and remained so, for scores of nights thereafter.
Angels need not have any specific religious association. However you imagine them, their pure, wholesome, kind and compassionate Energy inarguably exists. The more attuned to it I grow, the more I feel it. And the more wonder it works, transmuting my life.
I am delighted to have discovered it!
If you have trouble with the concept of Angels, perhaps it would help if you think of them as symbols. As embodiments of goodness and kindness. Perhaps then, you can feel free enough to open up your self to their compassionate, glorious aide.
Remember, they are your Angels. Your personal, private Spirit Helpers. You alone choose their colors, their tones, their garb. You alone choose the very special Energy you need, to help you heal from your specific pain.
Your Spirit Helpers are there, right there, for your experiencing -- exquisite creatures who will encircle your suffering Spirit, caress you, and help you to once again be loving toward your self, and to be loved.
At nap-time or night-time, in times of stress, or in times of sheer exhaustion, call upon the Angels in your Universe! Seek their uplifting! They are there for you. They have seen much. They are wise and strong and oh so gloriously giving.
Angels are fabulous. For my mother’s last Christmas, I made her an apron. Amazingly, the fabric I chose was adorned with adorable smiling Angels, colored pink with blue and yellow trim, on a lovely parchment-color background. For the lining I chose soft yellow sateen. How beautiful that apron was! How evocative of everything that is warm, and caring, and pure, and safe!
As I sewed the apron, I had no idea my mother would die before another Christmas came round. I had no idea that my choice of Angel fabric foreshadowed the fact that she would soon be thoroughly Spirit.
How grateful I am for what my Mother tried to tell me as a child, when night after night she bade me “Sleep with the Angels!”
From her Angelic state, her voice echoes through my Spirit; and as it does, I comprehend the wisdom of her words.
Reflection: If you could imagine three qualities you would absolutely love in a Spirit Helper, right now, what are they? How would you utilize each of these three qualities, to help your Spirit in its wondrous resuscitation?
As You Prepare To Rebirth: Next time you are having difficulty accessing restful sleep, sit up in bed and click on your lamp. Take a fresh piece of paper and a pencil, and freely record whatever thoughts and feelings are intruding upon your sleep-efforts.
When you feel you have recorded these things fully, close your eyes and imagine placing them into a huge burlap sack. Pull tight the sack's drawstring closure. Smile. Imagine that a wonderful assisting Energy hovers over your bed, and is reaching down to lift this sack high in the air, to carry it away. Imagine her. Feel her kindness. Feel her caring. Feel her divine strength. Now, holding these feelings in your heart, allow her to emit into your heart light, compassion and joy. Imagine her hovering, just above your bed. Watch as her lovely hand takes hold of your sack. Feel the sack lifting, up and away from your weary Spirit. Imagine her face -- she is beaming. Imagine her purity of purpose, there with you -- how totally devoted she is to you! What color is her dress [or however you perceive her clothing]? What does she look like? Can you discern her name? What about her can you hold on to, so that the next time you need her, you can call upon her?
NOTES:
1. As a victim of violence, for many years I suffered what psychologists call 'Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder' [PTSD], including Traumatic Depression. In my lexicon, this term is inappropriate: there is no 'post' when you suffer from trauma's aftermaths. Until you resolve your sufferings, your trauma lives on.
Women's Health: The Importance of Self-Rejuvenation: A Little Me Time
Rejuvenate Your Emotional Bucket
Many of us rue the end of Summer. Children go back to school, which means schedules become hectic and time is once again, of the essence. Mornings are harried and evenings tend to be a bit more stressed than we’d like.
During the transition from Summer to Fall, we women tend to get caught up in taking care of everyone else, and our own health and wellness is put on hold. Even the rejuvenation of what I like to call our “emotional buckets”. Each day we are given a certain amount of emotional energy to start the day. During the day it ekes out to care for children, bosses, medical appointments, and just the chaos of daily life.
If we don’t take the time to step back from the chaos, even a few minutes each day, and rejuvenate that emotional energy, we soon run out. We crash. We get cranky and short tempered; often hearing words being spat from our mouths without liking them.
Every woman deserves a little “me time.” Carve out a few minutes each day to catch up with friends, paint your nails, go for a jog, or even meditate or exercise. That small moment can refill your emotional bucket and ready you for the evenings’ madness.
Feel free to connect with other busy women like yourselves on The Women’s Nest. A free community of women helping women. Make new friends, blog to keep your family updated, vent, cry, or share a laugh. It’s your community. Take advantage of it and refill your bucket!
Just a thought, by Thinkhappy
Women's Health: The Wish To Go Unnoticed
THE WISH TO GO UNNOTICED
Those of us who suffer depression often feel the urge to hide. 'The Shabby Self' is what I call her -- the image of our self that mirrors our depletion, failures, fears, exhaustion, despair, and most importantly, our shame. How we wish to go unnoticed! To not be subjected to scrutiny. How much safer we feel, tucked in the shadows of our sufferings, awful as they may be.
What's more, in our attempts to seek comfort, often, we are further deflated, and hurt.
What prompts others to hurt depressed women? In most instances: callousness, ignorance or overwhelm.
- Callous dismissal of our sufferings occurs when people [most often unconsciously] feel terribly threatened by them -- fearing that if they 'let in' our pain, their own pain will surge, and swallow them whole.
- Those who do not comprehend our pain are truly ignorant of what we need, in our interactions with them. At one extreme, they are people with a limited range of emotional experience; and at the other, they are 'narcissistically disturbed' and incapable of empathy for others. In the middle lie those who do not wish to know what we need, for they cannot be bothered with helping others, especially helping that requires time and patience.
- Overwhelm. Many people simply cannot bear to bear the sufferings of others, even their loved ones.
Whatever the reason for the 'unavailability' of others, the more depressed we are, the more vulnerable we are to injury by their rejection or diminishing of our sufferings. Hence, our impulse to 'go unnoticed', to hide.
Going unnoticed to keep your self safe from forces that endanger your suffering Spirit -- like shaming ridicule -- manifests what I call The Sacred Pillar Of Self-Protection. It is a logical, legitimate, and Spirit-protective action on your part.
Hiding your self altogether, due to paralyzing shame, is a different sort of act. Understandably, feeling shabby, worthless, and despicable -- emotions that depression is masterful at evoking -- prompts us to withdraw.
Yet to Rebirth, we need to connect. Connect meaningfully with trustworthy others. We need to reach out, and have our faith in humankind restored. We need that special 'relational fuel' that only comes from being noticed in a positive way -- a way that affirms our very special -- and unique -- value.
For a woman's suffering Spirit, wishing to be noticed is wondrous. It is a progress-marker. A shedding of The Shabby Self. A testament to our Rebirth, our glorious Rebirth as Women We Were Born To Be.
From this moment on, take heed of your Spirit's stirrings. When need be, go unnoticed -- observing what you can, and processing. And as often as your Spirit prompts, step out into the radiant graces of trusted others. In their healing energies, revel!
Reflection: This evening, in a quiet place, think: what aspects of your sufferings do you secretly hope no one will see? Where do these sufferings originate?
As You Prepare To Rebirth: What woman in the public eye do you most admire? Why? In what ways would you love to be like her?
Article written by Martha Trowbridge
Copyright 2008 Martha Trowbridge
Martha Trowbridge's other work:
Women's Health: Three Easy Healthy Breakfasts!
Eating healthy doesn't have to be time consuming or complex - Here are three great breakfasts, with about 300 calories each. They're quick and tasty!
Strawberry-Banana & Flax Smoothie
1/2 medium banana
1/2 c. frozen unsweetened strawberries
1 1/2 c. skim milk or light soy milk
2 tablespoons ground flaxseed
Blend until smooth and drink!
Waffle with fresh blueberries & lemon syrup
3/4 c. blueberries
2 tsp maple syrup
1/2 lemon, juiced
1 whole-grain frozen waffle (4 in) toasted
1 8-ounce glass skim milk or light soy milk
Mash blueberries with fork and mix w/maple syrup and lemon juice. Top waffle with bllueberry mixture, serve with milk.
Toast with walnut and pear spread
1/2 c. low-fat cottage cheese
1 tbs chopped walnuts
1/2 med pear, finely chopped
2 tsp honey
1 slice whole-grain bread, toasted
Mix cottage cheese, walnuts, pear and honey (for smoother texture, puree in blender). Spread on toast
Source: Fitness Magazine, August 2008
Women's Health: Wings of Self Love
WINGS OF SELF-LOVE
For those of us who’ve suffered great indignities, for those of us who feel our lives have been a thorny string of shaming and humiliating experiences, for those of us who were conditioned since our earliest days to despise and degrade our selves, self-love may seem impossible.
Add to this the emotional, mental, physical and [likely] financial straits in which we may be trapped. WHAT about ourselves could we possibly love?
An excellent, perhaps puzzling question -- the answers to which your depression hopes you’ll never find.
For once it sets in, to gain a stronghold and sustain itself, depression literally feeds on your sense of un-love-ability. Your sense of powerlessness. Your negative self-regard. And your sense of hopelessness. [1]
When you are feeling your lowest, your need for positive self-regard is greatest.
It's the time when you most need your Wings of Self-Love.
The magnificent Wings your Spirit sprouts in response to wholehearted self-love.
Genuine self-loving means thoroughly loving your self, despite failures, exhaustion, misery, indignities, financial straits, hysteria, aging, grief, relational or random violence, shame, terror, unbearable stress, loneliness, degradation, unhealthy weight gain or loss, depression, anxiety, dependency, humiliation, hopelessness, anxiety, serious physical illness, insults, depression, marital conflict, madness, broken body or Spirit, affronts, dysfunctionality, homelessness, greying, inner and outer bruises, heartbreak, disappointment and despair.
It requires your absolute refusal to succumb to forces that wish to overpower you -- especially those forces [2] that have the power to threaten your sanity.
It means total, unwavering belief in the innate goodness and value that each of us precious women harbor within us.
Daunting requirements, indeed, when getting out of bed feels like more than you can manage.
Constructing Your Wings Of Self-Love
Each of us, no mattered how shattered, how hopeless, how impoverished, how depleted, or how homeless we may now be, can construct glorious Wings for our weary Spirits. Wings we construct from our genuine self-love efforts.
The first, middle, and ever-eternal process
by which you build -- and sustain -- your magnificent Wings
is genuine self-love.
Yet, dys-Spirited as you feel, how do you begin? And where??
Self-Love begins with creating and sustaining